As parents & educators, we want the best for our children, including their mental and emotional growth.
One of the many things that we can do is to help our teens develop a growth mindset.
A growth mindset is a belief that skills and abilities can be developed over time through hard work and dedication, rather than just being limited to fixed traits or talents.
Here are some strategies that you can implement to help your teen with a fixed mindset.
Click here to jump to the TL;DR summary.
What Does “Fixed Mindset” Mean?
Have you ever had the feeling that no matter how much effort you put into something, you never quite get the result you want?
Or maybe you find yourself complimenting others on their achievements while downplaying your own successes?
These thoughts and behaviors are often associated with what is known as a “fixed mindset.”
At its core, a fixed mindset is the belief that your abilities and qualities are predetermined and unchangeable. This means that you view challenges as signs of your inherent limitations and avoid taking risks for fear of failure.
Making the Switch to a “Growth” Mindset
A growth mindset, on the other hand, involves the belief that you can develop your abilities through hard work and dedication. Challenges are viewed as opportunities for growth, and learning is seen as a lifelong pursuit rather than a finite endpoint.
There are many ways in which a fixed mindset can hold you back.
For example, it can limit your willingness to take on new challenges because you fear failure. It can also lead to a lack of effort or motivation because you believe that your abilities are fixed and cannot be improved.
A fixed mindset can lead to a fear of feedback, as criticism can be perceived as a reflection of your personal limitations rather than an opportunity for growth.
On the other hand, embracing a growth mindset can have a myriad of benefits. When you believe that you can improve your abilities through effort and determination, you are more willing to take on challenges and try new things. This can lead to personal and professional growth as you continuously push yourself to improve.
A growth mindset also fosters resilience, as setbacks are viewed as temporary obstacles rather than insurmountable roadblocks.
Developing a growth mindset takes time and effort, but it is a worthwhile pursuit. Let’s look at how you can help your teen do that.
How Do You Help Someone With a Fixed Mindset?
The belief that our skills and abilities are innate and immutable can hinder a teen’s growth and development.
Helping someone with a fixed mindset shift their perspective may not be easy, but it is definitely possible. Here are some ways to do that.
One of the best ways to help someone with a fixed mindset is to provide them with information about the brain. Understanding how the brain works and how it learns can help people see that abilities and skills are not fixed, and that we can always improve and grow.
Research shows that the brain has neuroplasticity, which means that it has the ability to change and rewire itself even in adulthood. Encourage your teen to read books or watch videos about the brain, and share interesting facts with them. You could also highlight stories of successful people who overcame challenges through hard work and dedication.
2. Encourage Ongoing Conversations
Another effective way to help someone with a fixed mindset is to encourage ongoing conversations.
Let them know that it’s okay to make mistakes and that failure is not a reflection of their worth. Encourage them to embrace challenges instead of avoiding them, and to view them as opportunities to learn and grow.
Talk to them about your own experiences with a growth mindset and how it has helped you achieve your goals. Engage in positive self-talk and affirmations with them, and remind them that progress takes time and effort.
3. Set Goals – But Don’t Put Too Much Pressure On Them
Goal-setting can be an effective way to encourage a growth mindset. However, the pressure to accomplish these goals can backfire if they are too difficult or unrealistic. It is crucial to set goals that are challenging, but also attainable.
You can work with your child to create SMART goals – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This is an evidence-based way to support your teen through goal setting in an easy way. 
For more information on SMART goal setting, download our free .pdf guide to developing SMART Goals.
4. Make Space for Failure
It is crucial to understand that failure is not a negative thing, but rather an opportunity to learn from mistakes and grow.
Create a safe space where your child can make mistakes without fear of judgment or punishment. Encourage them to reflect on the situation, what they learned, and how they can improve next time.
5. Brainstorm Solutions When Things Don’t Go As Planned
When someone with a fixed mindset experiences a setback or failure, they often give up easily, believing that they are not capable of succeeding. In these moments, it’s essential to help them brainstorm solutions instead of letting them feel defeated.
Asking open-ended questions is a great way to help them come up with ideas. This technique helps them not feel alone in the process, and they can learn that others will always be willing to offer suggestions.
6. Listen More Than You Talk
When someone with a fixed mindset shares their negative thoughts and feelings, it’s essential to listen actively and without judgment. This allows the person to explore their feelings and thoughts.
When needed, offer guidance and advice. Remember, this is a chance to help the person self-reflect on what they’re thinking about and ponder why it’s important to understand the mindset they have, so the person can come up with ways to break those thought patterns.
7. Watch How You React to Things
Individuals with a fixed mindset are sensitive to feedback and are easily discouraged by negativity.
Because of this, it’s so important to be mindful of how you react to and provide feedback.
Be sure to give specific critiques rather than general attacks when needed, which allows the person to understand the changes that they need to make without feeling defeated. Praise the effort and the accomplishments to build confidence.
8. Examine Your Own Beliefs, and Encourage Your Teen to Do the Same
One of the most powerful ways to help your teen with a fixed mindset is to examine your own beliefs about intelligence and abilities.
Do you believe that intelligence is fixed and predetermined? Or do you believe that intelligence can be developed through hard work and effort? Your own beliefs can have a significant impact on your teen’s mindset, so it’s essential to be mindful of what you say and do.
Encourage your teen to examine their own beliefs about intelligence and abilities. Ask them if they believe they can improve, or if they believe they are stuck with their current level of intelligence or abilities.
Help them to see that everyone has room for growth and improvement, and that hard work and effort can make a significant difference.
9. Challenge Stereotypes
Stereotypes can be incredibly powerful, and they can have a significant impact on a teen’s mindset.
For example, if your teen believes that girls are not good at math, this belief can hold them back from pursuing academic success in math, even if they naturally excel in the subject. It’s essential to challenge stereotypes and help your teen see that everyone is capable of success, regardless of gender, race, or background.
You can challenge stereotypes by exposing your teen to positive role models who break the mold.
For example, if your teen believes that boys are not supposed to be interested in dance, take them to a performance by a talented male dancer. Encourage your teen to try new things and push themselves outside of their comfort zone. Help them to see that everyone has unique strengths and abilities, and that there is no one right way to be successful.
10. Focus on Effort Over Results
Focus on effort over results when working with a teen with a fixed mindset. If your teen believes that they are not good at something, it can be tempting to push them to improve their skills quickly and get results.
However, this approach can be counterproductive, as it can reinforce the belief that intelligence and abilities are fixed traits that cannot be developed.
Instead of focusing on results, focus on effort. Encourage your teen to work hard and put in the time and effort needed to improve their skills. Praise them for their hard work and dedication, even if they don’t achieve immediate success. Help your teen to see that effort is the key to success, and that everyone experiences setbacks and failures along the way.
11. Be Specific With Your Praise
When you praise your child, make sure that you are specific about what they did well and how they achieved it.
Instead of saying “You’re so smart,” say “I’m proud of you for solving that problem by using your creativity and analytical thinking.”
This type of praise emphasizes the effort, strategy, and skills that your child used to accomplish a task, rather than just the outcome. It also reinforces the idea that intelligence and abilities can be developed through practice and learning.
12. Use the Word “Yet”
When your child says “I can’t do this,” add the word “yet” at the end.
For example, if your child says “I can’t do math,” you can say “You can’t do math yet, but with practice and support, you’ll get better.”
This simple addition to their statement can shift their perspective from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. It implies that there’s room for improvement, and that learning and progress take time and effort.
13. Encourage Them to Keep the Big Picture in Mind
Sometimes, a task or a challenge may seem overwhelming or frustrating to your child. In those moments, it’s helpful to remind them of the big picture, or the long-term goal.
For example, if your child is struggling with a project, you can say “Remember why you started this project and what you want to achieve with it. Keep that in mind and take it one step at a time.”
This approach can help your child persevere through difficulties and setbacks, and see them as opportunities for growth and learning.
14. Help Your Teen Find Their Passion
A crucial part of developing a growth mindset is to find a passion, something that your teen is truly interested in and motivated to pursue. When they find their passion, they will develop enthusiasm for whatever they are doing, and any obstacles in their path will be seen as challenges to overcome.
Support your teen as they try new things and foster their interest in activities that excite them. This could be anything from sports to art, music or science.
15. Consider Executive Function Skills Coaching
Executive function skills coaching is an excellent way to help teens with a fixed mindset by arming them with the necessary skills to succeed.
This type of coaching focuses on developing organizational, time management and planning skills, boosting academic performance, and improving overall efficiency.
TL;DR – (Too Long, Didn’t Read)
Helping your teen with a fixed mindset is an ongoing process that requires patience, perseverance, and time.
While some of these strategies may be more effective for your teen than others, the key is to keep trying and to focus on progress rather than perfection.
Remember to celebrate your teen’s successes and to extend compassion and patience as they work through challenges.
By implementing the strategies discussed above, you can help your teen develop a growth mindset and set them up for success in all areas of their lives.
Further Reading
- Psychology Today: Neuroplasticity
- Amy Sippl: How To Use SMART Goal Setting To Teach Daily Living Skills
- Oregon State University: Growth Mindset: What it is, and how to cultivate one
- Amy Sippl: What Contributes To Change In Executive Function Coaching?