What happens when we’re trying to create goals around executive functioning or daily living skills that don’t align with our learner’s values? What happens as teachers if we assign goals that don’t align with a parent or caregiver’s values? Values-driven decision making and person-centered values planning have become buzz words when working with diverse learners. So, what exactly does it mean to make values-based decisions for a child’s daily living skills?
What are values?
Values are deeply ingrained principles that guide our actions and decision-making. We consistently behave in ways that match our values. They help us select personal goals, be self-motivated, and achieve positive outcomes. When we align our behaviors with our self-selected values, we tend to identify the outcomes as positive.
Some examples of values:
- Family: to have a happy, loving family
- Adventure: To have new and exciting experiences
- Safety: to be safe and secure
- Stability: To have a life that stays reasonably consistent
- Health: To be physically well
As you might imagine, based on these examples, values can be subjective. How one person defines or measures the achievement of values may be very different than another’s personal definition.
Why is values-based decision-making critical with daily living skills?
As we mentioned in our “The Trouble with Standardized Daily Living Skills Assessments” article, we often don’t formally evaluate values or use values-based decision-making when selecting DLS goals for our students. This can create big disconnects and decrease motivation for our learners and families if they don’t value a particular DLS teaching plan. In addition, DLS skills can take months and years for some learners with diverse needs to reach mastery. If we spend time trying to master DLS targets that aren’t worthwhile to the family or the learner, we’re wasting valuable time that could otherwise be teaching high-priority skills.
An example of Values-Based Decision Making:
For example, one of our client’s parent’s top 3 core values that they abide by most in life is Orderliness. During a recent IEP meeting, the IEP team suggests that the most important goals for the learner to work on right now are creative thinking and building friendships. Even though the client struggles with keeping a tidy workspace and bedroom, nothing is mentioned in the IEP about addressing DLS skills related to organization. While the creativity and friendship goals may also be beneficial, the parent may not agree or find any value in targeting these skills if their core value of Orderliness continues to be ignored.
6 Key Steps for Making Values-Based Decisions for Your Child’s Daily Living Skills
How do we go about making values-based decisions surrounding daily living skills? It all starts with answering the question, “What are my values?”
Step One: Identify – What are your core values?
Before you can confirm whether your learner’s behaviors and DLS goals match with your family’s values, you must first identify what those values are. One of the most common ways to conduct values assessments is to review a list of core values and select the top 3-5 values you identify with the most.
For sample values lists, check out:
If choosing just a few values seems complicated, work through the list to identify your top 10, then narrow it down from there.
Step Two: Identify – What are your child’s values?
It’s not only vital that we identify our own values, but it’s also important that we evaluate and accommodate our child’s values in creating DLS goals. We know that often our values may not align with our teen’s or young adult’s values. However, that doesn’t mean we should ignore or dishonor their values. Instead, creating goals that honor your learner’s values and our own can improve satisfaction, motivation and ultimately promote behavior change.
Consider conducting a values list activity below with your learner to determine what values you and your learner agree upon as core to your belief system.
Step Three: Define the “absolutely not’s.”
Defining our values not only involves identifying the behaviors we will engage in, but it also involves identifying what we don’t want our learners to do.
For example, suppose you and your learner agree on the value of budgeting and saving. In that case, you may also define an “absolute no” behavior of carrying a monthly balance on a credit card. Two sides of the same behavior, but both are things you’ll likely have to teach your learner.
In one situation, we worked with a family on defining values around fitting in with friends. Both the parents and the learner agreed and emphasized doing what it takes to build and maintain friendships. But when it turned out the learner’s new friends smoked marijuana, an ‘absolutely not’ quickly appeared for the parents. So even though the learner thought they were meeting goals around having friends, the parents had to recalibrate expectations with ‘absolutely not’ values in place.
Setting out the ‘absolutely nots’ creates definitions and parameters around our values. It may sound simple, but for learners with diverse needs who often need clear and consistent communication, it’s an extra step that can make a big difference in achieving independence.
Step Four: Translate Values to Behaviors
When you have values sketched out for both you and your learner, now comes the process of transforming the concepts of each value into actionable behaviors. For example, how do you observe a particular value in daily life? How do you know when you achieve it? When you’re falling short of a value? By answering these questions, you’re able to translate values into actionable behaviors your learner can work toward.
Let’s again consider our example of the value “Orderliness.” How does the parent know when their learner demonstrates that value? By selecting observable behaviors (e.g., picking up dirty laundry and dishes; putting away items before taking out something new; maintaining a tidy closet), we can translate the value into a set of skills to teach. It’s much easier to teach “orderliness” when it’s translated into actual behaviors and goals.
Step Five: Create Priorities and SMART Goals
Once you’ve made the steps to transform values into observable behaviors, the next step is to create some priorities and goals. Stopping to prioritize gives us the chance to answer questions like:
- What values need the most work?
- What behaviors cause the most challenges for me? For my learner?
- What behaviors are most important to work on right now?
- What are steps can we work on today towards aligning values and DLS behaviors?
- If we could make one change right now, what would it be?
Spend some time reflecting on these questions and then approach your learner to create priorities and goals. Work to identify 2-3 options for DLS targets to address (one for you, one for your learner, and one you both agree to prioritize). Then create some SMART goals for each priority area. SMART stands for:
S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Attainable
R – Relevant
T – Time-Bound
Decades of research show the value of writing specific and measurable goals—especially for learners with unique needs. SMART goals can be created for all types of communication, DLS, and executive functioning skills.
For more information on SMART Goal Setting, check out our resources on goal setting:
- 6 Steps To Help Your Child Develop A Strong “Why” When Goal Setting
- The Myths Of Motivation: Understanding The “Why” Or Function Of Your Teen’s Behavior
- Helping Your Teen Set SMART Goals Email Course
Step Six: Put It On The Front Burner
While we may spend all the time in the world conducting person-centered and values-based decision-making planning activities, ultimately, it’s up to you as a parent or teacher to keep DLS skills front and center. It’s easy to let old habits and ‘how it’s always been’ keep you from pushing your child to practice greater independence. Once the priorities and SMART goals are set, spend time revisiting and revising with your learner each week.
Where our focus and energy flows, is where our attention goes.
If helping your student align values and skills together is essential, keep it a priority.
Do you need more help?
After you’ve tried the six steps to identify and translate values into actionable DLS goals, you may decide your child or student could use some extra support. Consider working with a trained professional with experience in helping teens and young adults develop and enhance DLS. You’ll be investing in someone who can help you make values-based decisions that lead to real progress and outcomes for your learner. To find out more about life skills coaching services, click here.
Further Reading
- da Silva Ferreira, T. A., Simões, A. S., Ferreira, A. R., & Dos Santos, B. (2019). What are Values in Clinical Behavior Analysis?. Perspectives on behavior science, 43(1), 177–188.
- Life Skills Advocate – The Trouble with Standardized Daily Living Skills Assessments
- UC Davis, Values-Based Decision Making
- Winona State University – Values Activity Worksheet