Planning a date can be a challenge for the best of us. What will we wear? When will we go? What will we do?
Throw executive functioning issues into the mix and it’s a real headache, to say the least.
Whether you’re interested in planning a first date with someone or you want to spend some quality time with your spouse, knowing how to plan a date is essential.
But how can you make planning a date easier if you have executive functioning issues?
In this post, we’ll give you some helpful tips.
How to Plan a Date: 10 Tips to Make it Easier
Ready for the night of your life? Here are some tips that will make planning a date easier – regardless of whether it’s the first or five hundredth.
1. Coming Up With an Idea
If you find your mind spinning with dozens of potential date night ideas, relax. You’re not alone! It’s easy to find yourself overwhelmed by all this mental clutter – especially if you are a person who has executive functioning challenges.
Of course, you can always get some feedback from the other person who’s going on the date, but if you find yourself torn between multiple ideas, write them all down. Have a brainstorming session on paper, no matter how silly it might seem.
You can always scour Google and Pinterest to get a little motivation, too – but try to stick to just a few ideas and then narrow them down from there so you don’t find yourself feeling daunted by all the options. Simplicity is key!
2. Get it On the Calendar
Don’t be wishy-washy when you’re planning a date. Planning is an important executive functioning skill for anyone to have – and getting the date on the calendar is the best way to help yourself plan ahead.
Discuss availability with your date to find out when you are both available. Once you find the time, stick to it! Write it on your wall calendar and put it in your phone so you don’t lose track of time.
Not only will adding the date to your calendar help you prevent forgetting it, but it will also help you follow through and stay accountable.
3. Create an Itinerary
Any kind of date can be complicated to plan – but some are more challenging than others. For even simple dates – say, dinner and a movie – have a detailed itinerary so you know exactly what to expect as well as what needs to be done in advance.
Create an outline of the date’s events from start to finish. Include detailed times for each and every event – even if it’s something as simple as “call Uber to pick us up for dinner at 6:45 pm). That way, nothing will fall through the cracks.
Although there’s something to be said about spontaneity, you also need ways to minimize the stress. You shouldn’t worry if your planned date night doesn’t go exactly as planned – or isn’t perfectly timed out – but showing up late for a movie or missing out on a restaurant you’ve both been dying to try because you didn’t make a reservation can be a dealbreaker.
Be safe – not sorry!
4. Make a To Do List
Once you have your itinerary in place, go through it and make a to-do list of everything that needs to be done before the date. Looking at your itinerary, write down, line for line, what you need to do.
For example, if you know you are going to need to call an Uber, you should write “download Uber app on phone” ahead of time.
If your date starts at 7 pm, you might write, “shower and do makeup” at 5:30 pm.
One of the biggest and most common executive functioning challenges people have is underestimating how much time a task will take to complete. Be realistic as you create your to-do list and give yourself plenty of time in advance to get things done.
5. Use an App
Apps can be instrumental when it comes to organizing your many to-dos.
Planning a date might be lower on your priority list than other tasks, like the errands you need to get done or the tasks you’re assigned to at work.
However, there’s a good chance that it’s probably still important. You don’t want to find yourself befuddled on the morning of your date, wondering exactly what you’re going to do and how you’re going to be able to schedule something last-minute.
Consider using an app like Wunderlist to keep you organized. You can put anything on here and share it with a family member, friend, – or hey! – the person you’re going on a date with. This will allow you to collaborate and keep track of anything that needs to be done ahead of time, like buying a new outfit or making dinner reservations.
6. Enlist Some Help
You don’t have to do everything yourself! When you’re planning a date, get feedback from the person you’re going on the date with. If it’s a double date, put some of the onus on the other couple to schedule plans and arrange logistics.
Check in with each other often to see what still needs to be done – but don’t feel like you have to shoulder the entire burden.
7. Check the Weather
Keep an eye on the forecast as your date gets closer and have a few different types of outfits picked out so you aren’t scrambling the night of the date to make a last-minute switch.
It’s ultra-important to keep tabs on the weather if your date will be taking place outside!
8. Plan the Logistics
Don’t forget to include items on your to-do list that might not be directly related to the date, but are important to its success.
If you have kids, you might need to plan out getting a babysitter.
Will you be taking your car? Using a rideshare service or public transportation? What time do you need to leave? Do you need to get time off work?
Plan out the logistics and have a backup plan in place in case things don’t go as planned. Can’t get a cab? Perhaps your backup can be to take the subway. Babysitter cancels at the last minute? Ask a family member to step in.
9. Don’t Be Afraid of Spontaneity
After reading all these tips, you might be thinking, “sheesh! So much for a fun, spur of the moment date night.”
However, planning a date when you have executive functioning issues isn’t just about planning everything down to the last detail. It’s also about being organized enough so that there’s room for flexibility.
Create a plan – but don’t panic if things don’t go according to plan. After all, that’s often where life’s greatest, most memorable moments happen!
10. Stay Focused
Most importantly, when you’re on the date – regardless of what happens – stay focused on your date.
It’s tough for all of us to put our phones down and just pay attention to one thing (ie, your date) at a time. However, it’s important. After all, the whole point of a date is getting to spend some quality time with a person you care about.
Put your phone on silent and take care of anything that needs to be taken care of before you head out on your date. Send your work emails, respond to those texts, and finish up any work tasks or errands before the date so you don’t have to worry about them while you’re on the date.
Have Fun – and Just Go With It!
Aside from staying focused on your partner and on the date while you’re actually on it, the best tip you can follow for planning a date is to have fun!
When you’re planning the day, make sure you are choosing activities that will allow you and your partner to truly connect with one another – without any distractions. Pick things that you both enjoy doing so that the date isn’t just about connecting with each other but also about relaxing and having fun yourself.
Planning ahead is the most important thing you can do if you struggle with executive functioning skills like time management, focus, and organization. But don’t let yourself get overwhelmed or stressed if things go awry.
Enjoy the time together as a couple – and just see where it takes you!
Further Reading
- Check out our free EF assessment
- Download our Real-Life Executive Functioning Workbook (coupon code LSA20 for 20% off at checkout)
- Edge Foundation: Managing Executive Functioning Challenges
- Understood for All Inc: What is Executive Function?
- Amy Sippl: Executive Functioning Skills 101: Flexibility
- Amy Sippl: Executive Functioning Skills 101: The Basics Of Time Management