Exercise is essential for good health, both physically, mentally, and emotionally – but what do you do when your teen refuses to exercise?
It takes some trial and error to find the right type of exercise, as everyone will have different preferences and capabilities. However, when it comes to motivating a child with unique learning needs, using modeling to teach your teen to exercise is perhaps the very best method you can use.
Modeling can not only inspire your child to try exercise for the first time but to make it a habit that will last for his entire life. Here are some tips on how you can try this novel method to set your child on the path to lifelong success.
What is Modeling?
No matter how old your child is, you’ve likely noticed that children like to copy their parents! That’s particularly true when it comes to younger children, who will naturally mimic everything their parents do. This serves several purposes – it is how children learn how to act as well as a tool that they use to get their parents’ attention and praise.
While modeling is most effective when it is started during a child’s youngest, most formative years, it can also be used as a child reaches his teenage years.
Behavior modeling is based on social learning theory, which argues that most behaviors are learned through modeling and observation. While that can be a bad thing – your child might pick up on your nightly ice cream habit! – it can also be beneficial. If you exercise every day, there’s a good chance that your teen will, too.
While most modeling happens organically, you can also use it as a way to intentionally teach behaviors that are more specific.
The process is relatively simple – you have your child watch you perform a task first. Then, you give him time to process and recall the behavior you performed. Give him a chance to perform the behavior on his own, and use positive reinforcement to encourage him to keep up the good work.
Modeling can take place in a structured or loose format. The exact ways you go about it are up to you (and we will give you more tips on how you can do this below) but what’s most important is that you put the effort into instilling these behaviors.
Using Modeling to Teach Your Teen to Exercise: 7 Tips
Here are some tips you can use to encourage your child to make exercise a regular habit.
1. Use Videos
Video modeling is an often-overlooked strategy that is particularly effective for individuals who have unique learning needs like autism. While it is often used to help children learn new skills such as communication, daily living skills, and social skills, it can also be used to change behavior.
You can make videos of yourself exercising and have your child watch them. This is most effective when used as an initial strategy in encouraging a teen to exercise – it will help “warm-up” your child to the idea of doing some exercise in other settings.
2. Start Small and Make it Personal
Don’t expect your child to go from a non-exerciser to running a marathon in one week. Yes, that’s an extreme example – but the logic here still holds. If you start with too much of a gargantuan effort, your child will become disillusioned and discouraged and not want to continue on with the exercise program.
Start with just five to ten minutes a day. This will help create a habit that will build a solid foundation for wellbeing. You can build from there over time. Set SMART goals for exercise type and duration that you’d like to meet with your child.
Have a conversation with your child before you start an exercise program. Although you should absolutely be the guiding force – and your input should matter, too – take some time to figure out your child’s preferences as they relate to exercise.
Is he more of a solo exerciser? Running might be a great choice. Does he like some friendly competition? Maybe a team sport would be better.
Whatever you choose, make sure the form of exercise your child does is tailored to his needs, preferences, and abilities. There’s something out there for everyone – it is simply a matter of finding out what your child likes best.
Of course, you’re going to be teaching them how to exercise by modeling the behavior first – so make sure whatever you do is something that you can do together.
Children with unique learning needs often have a hard time with more abstract concepts. This is part of why it is so difficult to encourage them to exercise – you might tell your teen that exercise is good for your health and mood, but without them experiencing those benefits for themselves, the results often fall flat.
Try sharing with your teen how good you feel after a workout. Write it down, draw a picture, or model these feelings in whatever way makes the most sense to you. This may help get your teen inspired to move when he’d much rather sleep in or watch television instead.
4. Make it Fun
Even for adults, exercise often seems like a lot of hard, boring work – but if you’re an avid exerciser, you probably know that doesn’t always have to be the case.
Again, this is where making it personal is so important. If your child loves to be outdoors, you can sneak in a workout by going on a fun hike. Even just dancing around in the kitchen to some of your child’s favorite music is a great way to show him how enjoyable a bit of movement can be.
5. Think Aloud
When you’re teaching your teen how to exercise, make sure you break things down for him. Ensure that he has the proper background knowledge before jumping into an exercise or sport – you wouldn’t try to teach a child how to play a game of soccer without first explaining the points system, how to kick a ball, etc.
As you move through each section of an exercise, break it down into small segments. Provide visual, kinesthetic, auditory, and tactile ways to illustrate important pieces of a skill and think aloud as you show each step. Make connections between steps and be sure to check for understanding.
If your child isn’t quite getting something you’re doing, go back and review it. The timing of your modeling should be kept at a pace that our child can understand. Be sure to offer your teen plenty of opportunities to ask questions and get clarification as needed!
6. Plan Ahead
Plan ahead for your child’s needs. You need to make sure the exercise you are modeling to your child is both developmentally and personally appropriate. While most teens can handle most types of exercise, a child with unique learning needs might struggle to do things like weight lifting.
Make sure these needs are accommodated for when you’re planning out any form of exercise for your child. Also, be sure that the environment is safe with the equipment and practice area for the exercise kept safe and tidy.
Another benefit of planning ahead is that it will help you make sure that your child’s schedule doesn’t become so jam-packed with other things (like homework and extracurriculars) that there is no time left for exercise. Set limits on screen time and use that free time for more physical activity. You’ll likely be met with resistance at first but the longer you consistently show your teen that exercise is a priority for the whole family (with you included), you’ll begin to see results.
This weekly exercise planning worksheet can be helpful as you’re getting both you and your teen into a consistent routine.
7. Don’t Overdo It
Before starting any exercise routine or ritual with your teen, make sure you have him checked out by the doctor. Just about everyone can do some form of exercise, and it doesn’t have to be rigorous. Simple stretching and resistance exercises are a great way to sneak in some movement, even for children who have severe limitations in their range of motion.
Remember exercise shouldn’t hurt – so if it’s ever painful for your teen, you may want to consider modeling a different type of exercise instead.
The Benefits of Exercise
The benefits of exercise for everyone are well known, but for individuals with unique learning needs, they are even more profound.
Exercise not only can help improve physical health (it lowers blood pressure, increases endurance, boosts immunity, and more) but it also can result in a decreased rate of undesired behaviors and an increased rate of adaptive behaviors, according to recent studies on the topic. It may also help boost focus and concentration along with academic performance.
It can even help with impulse control!
With all of these benefits and advantages of exercise to keep in mind – and virtually zero drawbacks – it’s clear that it should be part of every teen’s daily routine. Whether you have already made exercise a habit for yourself or are interested in jumping on the bandwagon to motivate your child to adopt healthy behaviors, you may want to consider using modeling to teach your teen to exercise – it will be great for both of you!
Further Reading
- Amy Sippl: 5 Ways to Help Your Teen Learn Impulse Control
- UC Berkeley: How Social Learning Theory Works
- Russell Lang et al: Physical exercise and individuals with autism spectrum disorders: A systematic review
- Amy Sippl: 6 Steps to Help Your Child Develop a Strong “Why” When Goal Setting