This article is designed to be utilized with the utmost professional integrity and ethical consideration. It is imperative to acknowledge that directly copying and pasting example goals into student’s IEPs from any external source, including ours, undermines the individualized nature of IEP planning and does not serve the best interests of students.
This resource aims to inspire the development of IEP goals that address executive functioning needs, not a substitute for the detailed, student-centered IEP goal setting process. Educators and IEP teams are urged to use this as a tool for ideation, basing final goals on student assessments and collaborative IEP team insights.
All students need a degree of emotional control to be successful in school and in life.
For some students, this comes naturally. For others, it is very much a learned skill. No matter which group your student falls into, here are some tips for how to teach emotional control.
Emotional control is the ability to regulate one’s emotions. This includes managing negative emotions, such as anger and frustration, as well as positive emotions, such as joy and excitement. It also includes being able to stay calm under pressure and handle difficult situations with grace.
A lack of emotional control can lead to poor academic performance, social difficulties, and behavioral problems.
What is Emotional Control?
We all get angry and frustrated from time to time – but knowing how to deal with our emotions properly is essential.
Understanding how to control our emotions is vital if you want to be successful, both in your personal, professional, and academic lives. Sometimes referred to as emotional regulation, emotional control refers to how well we manage and respond to emotional experiences in the environment – some of which can be incredibly triggering.
Emotional regulation can impact academic achievement, mental health, peer-to-peer and student-teacher relationships, school readiness, career success, and more.
Without proper emotional control, it’s all too easy for a person to fall victim to problems such as self-injury or self-harm, aggression, procrastination, work avoidance, or even alcohol abuse.
Your child might struggle with emotional regulation if any of the following are true:
- He has frequent outbursts
- She regularly gets in trouble for blurting out, being hyperactive, or being out of her seat
- She overreacts or demonstrates aggressive behavior when angered
- He struggles to bounce back after a setback
- He frequently engages in negative thoughts or actions
Any of these areas may demonstrate a need for increased emotional control skills.
Sample IEP Goals for Emotional Control
Improving skills in emotional control often involves targeting other executive functioning skills. For example, demonstrating problem behaviors (like aggression) is something that is often tied to deficits in planning and organization as well.
These sample IEP goals address the root issues connected to emotional control – but may also be effective goals for other executive functioning skill areas as well.
Adaptive Goals
- By the end of the school year, when changes to the established routine occur, the student will maintain self-control 90% of the time, as demonstrated by teacher observation.
- By the end of the IEP term, when redirected in an academic or social situation, the student will maintain self-control 100% of the time, as demonstrated by student and teacher observation.
Social Goals
- By the end of the school year, when given a challenging school or social experience, the student will refrain from whining or crying 100% of the time, based on teacher observation.
- By the end of the IEP term, the student will maintain eye contact during verbal interactions in four out of five trials, based on teacher observation.
- By the end of the school year, the student will walk away from a peer when he becomes annoyed, upset, or angry, instead of yelling or hitting, 100% of the time, based on teacher observation.
Reading Goals
- By the end of the IEP term, the students will demonstrate the ability to describe the emotion of a pictured character four out of five times, based on teacher observation.
Math Goals
- By the end of the school year, when confronted with a challenging math problem, the student will set a timer and take a break after five minutes of working on the problem, 100% of the time, based on teacher observation.
Writing Goals
- By the end of the IEP term, when confronted with a challenging or tedious writing assignment, the student will continue to engage in the activity 90% of the time, based on teacher observation.
- By the end of the school year, the student will correctly write statements reflecting emotions of himself or of characters 100% of the time, based on teacher observation.
Tips on Meeting Goals for Emotional Control
Whether your goals are to help your child learn new coping strategies or to practice managing challenging emotional situations, these suggestions will help you meet some of the goals described above.
Come Up With Coping Strategies
Often, individuals struggle with their emotional responses simply because they aren’t sure what to do when they’re handed a frustrating or upsetting situation. They lash out or engage in problem behaviors just because that’s what their physical responses – their bodies – are telling them to do.
You can get around this by sitting down with your child to come up with some helpful strategies they can turn to when they need to keep their cool. You can stash them all in a “Frustration Folder,” something you’ll learn more about in the Real Life Executive Functioning Workbook (coupon code LSA20 for 20% off at checkout).
There are additional strategies you’ll find to be helpful in this workbook, too, such as a flashcard deck that has potential resolutions you can practice to help you deal with common problems and scenarios.
Take a Break
Encourage your child to take a break when they are in an emotional situation. Taking the time to stop and think can put an end to the impulsive reactions that often occur in frustrating situations.
It can also be helpful to teach your child how the body reacts physically to stressful situations. Encourage them to practice mindfulness exercises, like breath control, meditation, and body scans, to help them control their emotions under stress.
You can learn more about the body scan exercise in particular by taking a look at the Real Life Executive Functioning Workbook.
Give Social Stories a Try
Social stories are effective for children with unique learning needs because they encourage a child to look at similar people – or even role models – to get an idea of how others might act in a given situation.
It can be helpful to talk about real-life situations and triggers based on the experiences of others. You can use social stories or you can look at emotional situations from the lens of your child’s favorite athlete, actor, or fictional character.
Choose one that your child cares about deeply -that way, it will help them connect with the situation and learn how they can better regulate their own emotions. You’ll find more examples of how to do this in the Real Life Executive Functioning Workbook. There are also social scenario cards that will give your child some ideas of what can be done in specific social situations where emotions become heated!
How to Address Each Goal
Working on emotional control can be incredibly difficult. It’s important to recognize that emotional regulation and control aren’t something that just happen overnight. Instead, it comes from learned experience and extensive skill-building over a period of time.
You need to be as intentional as possible when you’re trying to help your child build emotional control skills. Understanding their unique learning style and learning needs is vital to customize an effective plan of action. Most students learn best by watching others and by talking out their emotions – so there may be many learning opportunities needed before a child finally starts to develop strong emotional control skills.
Even so, it might not be an upward path of improvement! It is likely to be a bumpy journey and the progress won’t be linear. After all, how perfect are you when it comes to controlling your emotions each and every day? We’re all human, so the goal here is not perfection – it is in teaching your child the strategies they need to avoid severe outbursts and to manage their emotions in a healthy, productive way.
To identify the best strategies to help your child learn emotional control, take the Real Life Executive Functioning Skills Assessment. This assessment will not only give you an idea of where your child is at in terms of current emotional regulation skills but it will also address learning styles and interests. That way, you can come up with the best IEP goals possible – and be successful in meeting them.
Write the Clearest Emotional Control Goals
Emotional control is one of the hardest skills to teach because, of course, we’re all human – and we all have emotions that we have to deal with.
However, to be successful, it’s important that you get your learner’s feedback when writing their IEP goals. What frustrates them? What makes them happy? How can you write goals that reflect these frustrations and desires – and that help them to be in better control of their emotions?
Take a holistic approach to writing emotional regulation goals for your learner’s IEP – and don’t be afraid to lean on tools like the Real Life Executive Functioning Workbook when you need a little extra help!
Looking For More Executive Functioning IEP Goal Ideas?
Visit our EF IEP Goal Resource Hub or check out our other skill-specific IEP goal articles:
- 8 Impulse Control IEP Goals
- 8 Attentional Control IEP Goals
- 8 Self-Monitoring IEP Goals
- 10 Problem Solving IEP Goals
- 10 Working Memory IEP Goals
- 9 Emotional Control IEP Goals
- 7 Cognitive Flexibility IEP Goals
- 10 Organization IEP Goals
- 12 Task Initiation IEP Goals
- 10 Time Management IEP Goals
- 15 Planning IEP Goals
Further Reading
- Rebekah Pierce: Social Stories for Adolescents and Young Adults
- Rebekah Pierce: How to Deal With Changes to a Routine
- Amy Sippl: Stop, Think, Act: How To Practice Emotional Control Skills With Your Teen
- Amy Sippl: Building Emotional Control: Strategies & Supports For Diverse Learners
- Amy Sippl: Executive Functioning 101: The Basics Of Emotional Control