Did you know that nearly 70% of teens experience academic stress, from the pressure to perform well on homework and on exams to competing with their peers.
A recent survey found that many teens under school pressure report trouble sleeping, anxiety, and difficulty concentrating.
These challenges can be intensified during the transition to high school. Learners face higher expectations to stay organized, meet deadlines, and navigate more complex social situations, all while receiving less direct guidance from adults.
With this in mind, here’s how you can make the move to high school a smoother and more positive experience for your learner.
Click here to jump down to the TL;DR summary.
Review of Executive Functioning
Executive functioning skills are like the brain’s “management system.” These skills help us plan, stay organized, manage our time, remember important information, and control our emotions and actions.
In high school, these skills matter. Students juggle classes, assignments, activities, and social responsibilities. They also get less direct guidance from adults.
Beyond academics, executive functioning is key for everyday life skills like paying bills on time, keeping appointments, preparing meals, and managing household responsibilities. Strengthening these skills early sets students up for success both in school and in life.
Why Can the Transition to High School Be So Hard?
Moving from middle school to high school is a big shift. Brain changes, higher expectations, and new emotions all arrive at once.
Developmental Vulnerability
Just as early childhood is a time of rapid brain development, adolescence also brings about major changes in the brain’s architecture and functioning. These changes are believed to be reflected in differences in teen behavior, such as cognitive decision-making, emotional intensity, and risk-taking.
Socially, teens begin to develop better perspective taking skills and empathy. In groups, teens are more likely to take risks than when alone. One reason: in groups, social rewards can feel more important than potential risks.
During this time, teens may take more social risks to fit in, especially around peers.
Increased Executive Functioning Demands
In high school, learners are expected to be more independent with schoolwork, test taking, activities, and friendships. Skills like time management, starting tasks on their own, and prioritizing responsibilities are still developing for most 13 to 15-year-olds. Because these skills are developing, the new expectations of independence in high school can feel more challenging.
Mental Health
Adolescence is often described as a time of “storm and stress.” Teens experience many stressors at once, including physical and brain development, a desire for more independence, and shifting social relationships.
For some neurodivergent learners and those with learning differences, these changes can raise the risk of anxiety, low mood, or burnout.
Changes in Peer & Parent Relationships
Student relationships with peers become more important during high school, and students often become less connected to their families than before. At the same time, high school brings new and more complex social dynamics. Friend groups from middle school often shift as students change schools, classes, and activities, leading to the need to form new connections with both peers and staff.
Autistic students, or students who find unwritten social rules unclear, may face a higher risk of bullying or exclusion.
Learners who find friend-making hard may feel less connected to the school community, leading to increased loneliness and isolation. Over time, this persistent stress can impact self-esteem and make school feel like a more stressful environment from the start.
School-Based Considerations
If you’re a parent or caregiver of a neurodivergent student, you might already be familiar with school-based supports like Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) or 504 Plans. These written plans can help ensure your child has the accommodations, modifications, and services they need to succeed.
Extra tips for planning the move to high school:
- Write your top questions and concerns
- Share them with the school team 4–8 weeks before the transition
- Ask to include a high-school special educator in the final middle-school IEP
- If new needs arise, request a review meeting before summer
- Ask how MTSS or RTI works in your district and how to access supports
Have Everyone at the Table
In some districts, IEP teams invite a special education teacher from the high school to join the final annual meeting before your child transitions. If this isn’t automatically offered, you can request it. You might also ask for a separate meeting with that teacher before the school year starts to connect and be familiar with each other before the year officially starts.
Request a Review/Revision Meeting
Some learners naturally have their annual IEP due in the fall of the school year.
A lot can change in the time between then and the end of the year, and any member of the IEP team can request that the team meet again if additional concerns come up. If you notice new concerns toward the end of middle school, you can request a meeting before the school year ends. This ensures the IEP reflects your child’s current strengths and needs before they step into a new school environment.
Need help with a request email or letter? The Center for Parent Information and Resources offers a model letter you can copy and edit.
Ask About Additional Supports
Not all support comes through an IEP or 504 Plan. Many schools also provide support through Multi-tiered Systems of Support (MTSS) or Response to Intervention (Rti). The availability of additional services under these names widely varies by state and by district. Some states require these supports to be in place, while others may be in the earliest stages of implementation. Ask how MTSS or RTI works in your district and how your learner can access supports.
Ways to Support This Transition
Start Conversations Early
Begin talking with your child well before high school starts. Ask open-ended questions to explore their expectations, hopes, and concerns, such as:
- What are you looking forward to the most this next year?
- What are you most nervous about?
And my personal favorite…
- If I could wave a magic wand and make high school less stressful, what would I change?
Listen without jumping in to fix or reassure right away. Sometimes, simply validating their feelings is the most powerful support you can offer. If your teen is hesitant at first, keep the conversation open and return to it over time.
Build Familiarity
If your learner is moving to a new building for high school, try to make the environment feel less intimidating before the first day. Attend freshman orientation, walk through their schedule together, and point out key locations like the main office, nurse’s office, and cafeteria.
Tackle small, common stressors early. Many can be solved quickly.
For example, many students worry about using a locker combination if they have not used one before. It can be helpful to have your learner try out their combination early, or by having them practice on an extra one at home to get the hang of it.
Practice Essential EF Skills
Summer is a good time to build skills for high school. Try:
- Have them plan, shop for, and cook one family meal each week.
- Practice organization by decluttering their room together and setting up a “drop zone” for backpacks and essentials.
- If they have an allowance or job, teach budgeting by having them save a portion of their earnings.
Co-Create a Weekly Routine
As you prepare your learner for more independence, try co-creating a regular routine for before and after school that makes your schedule more predictable. On the schedule, make sure you include time for homework, sleep, breaks, and family activities. It can also be helpful to build in transition times to decompress and regulate between tasks.
Encourage Supportive Relationships
Strong, supportive relationships between parents, teachers, and peers are critical for adjusting to the change of high school. These relationships can actually buffer the impact of transition-related stressors.
High expectations help when paired with check-ins and supports. Make sure learners have what they need to meet their own goals. Students with perfectionist tendencies or who frustrate easily may experience additional stress when they do not interpret themselves as reaching established expectations.
Develop Home-School Collaboration
Establish a strong home-school connection by making early contact with case managers, teachers, and other service providers if your child receives services. Help your learner identify trusted adults at school. Plan who they can talk to if stress comes up during the day.
Research has found that the more positive, supportive, and collaborative the family and school partnership, the better the academic outcomes for the learner.
Additional Supports
Life Skills Advocate offers Executive Function (EF) coaching that can be a helpful addition to your teen’s weekly routine. Executive functioning coaches work alongside students to tackle some of the most common challenges high schoolers face, such as keeping schoolwork organized, planning ahead, staying motivated, managing their time, bouncing back from setbacks, and handling big emotions.
Book a complimentary discovery meeting to see if coaching is a good fit for your learner.
TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read)
High school brings new classes, routines, and social dynamics while executive function (EF) skills are still developing. Start the transition early: talk about hopes and worries, visit the building, practice small EF tasks at home, and set a predictable before- and after-school routine. If your learner has an IEP or 504 plan, check it before summer and ask to include the high school team. Supportive relationships at home and school make the change easier. EF coaching can add weekly structure and strategies during this shift.
Further Reading
- Casey, Jones, Levita, Libby, Pattwell, Ruberry, Soliman, & Somerville (2010) – The storm and stress of adolescence: insights from human imaging and mouse genetics
- Center for Parent Information and Resources (2021) – Requesting a meeting to review your child’s IEP
- Center for Parent Information and Resources (2024) – The short-and-sweet IEP overview
- Dawson & Kessler (n.d.) – Teens and Executive Function Skills
- Dean, Williams, Orlich, & Kasari (2020) – Adolescents with autism spectrum disorder and social skills groups at school: A randomized trial comparing intervention environment and peer composition
- Families Together, Inc. (n.d.) – A family guide to multi-tier system of supports (MTSS)
- Hillside Horizon for Teens (2025) – What Percent of Teens Have Academic Stress Today?
- Konrad, Firk, & Uhlhaas (2013) – Brain development during adolescence: neuroscientific insights into this developmental period
- Learning Disabilities Association of America (n.d.) – Transition planning requirements of IDEA 2004
- López & Benner (2025) – Promoting students’ well-being during the transition to high school
- Martin (2013) – Family-school partnerships and academic achievement
- U.S. Department of Education (2025) – Section 504
- Life Skills Advocate (2024) – Teaching Executive Function Skills: A Comprehensive Guide for Teachers
- Life Skills Advocate (2024) – The Importance of Home & School Collaboration When Developing Daily Living Skills
- Life Skills Advocate (2024) – What is Executive Functioning?