It’s that time of year again! Sleigh bells are ringing, and snow glistens to create a beautiful sight. Whether it is gift shopping, home decorating, or meal prepping, it sure becomes a busy time of year.
If you notice that during these months, maintaining balance can be challenging, then you’re not alone. When we try to pack large celebrations, family obligations, and travel plans into already tight schedules, it can put our executive functioning skills to the test.
That’s why our content team at Life Skills Advocate prepped a complete list of ways to boost EF skills around the holidays.
Check out this compilation from LSA contributors Amy, Veronica, and Suzan.
What are executive functioning skills?
Before we dive into EF and the holidays, let’s recap what we know about executive functioning skills.
Our “thinking cap,” also known as our brain, has an area called the prefrontal cortex in our frontal lobe. This area is responsible for our ability to complete complex tasks and higher-order thinking, also known as executive functioning (Prefrontal Cortex, 2019).
There are different types of executive functioning skills we use everyday to complete our tasks. Whether it’s getting ready in the morning or working in the office, these skills are critical in helping us get through our day.
These include planning, time management, task initiation, organization, problem-solving, flexibility, working memory, emotional control, impulse control, attentional control, and self-monitoring (Hanson, 2022).
If this all sounds new, or if you’d like to deep-dive into one or more of these EF skills, check out our Executive Functioning 101 Resource Hub. You’ll find resources and a free EF assessment to evaluate where you or your learner might need an EF boost.
Holiday Executive Functioning Tips From Amy
Amy Sippl is a Minnesota-based Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) and freelance content developer. She’s been writing with LSA since 2020.
Start preparing EF skills early
Our dreams are to have all the shopping and decorating done early in November. But in reality, being prepped for the holidays really comes down to working on EF skills with your learner for the rest of the year.
To show up in December and expect to start teaching organization and planning skills in the height of the holiday hustle and bustle probably doesn’t support your learner in the best way. Instead, start working on EF skills ahead of time (or just keep working on them year-round!) when there are better learning opportunities. Find exercises like the EF Workbook (coupon code LSA20 for 20% off at checkout) that can be done early in the year.
If you’re just reading this now. Don’t worry if you missed it this year.
Just stop now and set a calendar reminder for January to pick back up with EF skills in the new year.
Ask for help when you need it
‘Tis the season of giving. Which means it’s also the season where it’s okay to ask someone to give a little help if you need it. As a parent, it’s also the time of year to help your learner with asking for help.
Spend some time this season answering these questions for you or your learner:
- How do I know I’m in need of help?
- What are the warning signs that I’m overwhelmed, frustrated, or stressed?
- How do I ask for help? (Write out the words so you have a script to follow)
- Who is in my corner to ask? (Make a list of names and keep it handy)
Find things that bring joy
We all have parts of this time of year that do make us happy and joyful, despite the stressors. For some of us, it might be blasting holiday music on the car ride home. For others, it might be staying in bed extra late on a cold dark morning. Peppermint Lattes? Santa horror films? Having three too many Christmas cookies?
Who cares what it is! Just that it brings you joy in a season all about finding joy. As you build your calendar for the holidays, make sure it includes these things in the mix.
Holiday Executive Functioning Tips From Veronica
Veronica Buns is a California-based Occupational Therapist and new contributor to LSA. She’ll be more content for the team next year.
Create a Budget
Take a moment to guess how much you think you’ll spend this holiday season. $400, $500, maybe even $600?
It is estimated that Americans will plan to spend $832 this winter on gifts, food, and decorations (Average Cost of American Holiday Spending, 2022). Don’t forget all of the other monthly expenses you have to pay for in addition to the holiday spending.
If you fear you may overspend, make a budget. Use the free .pdf download holiday budget template attached and steps below to help with your budget planning this holiday season.
Steps to create a budget:
- Start by listing your total income from all sources for the month. Be sure to consider your income after taxes instead of gross income.
- Next, list your fixed expenses. Fixed expenses are the bills that are a set amount and won’t change each month. These will include bills such as the mortgage/rent, car/health insurance, etc.
- Then list your variable expenses. These are expenses that can range each month. Examples of these are fuel for the car, eating out, and clothes shopping.
- Total each expense and subtract it from your monthly income. This will give you your spending money to use for the holidays.
If after creating your budget you notice not having enough spending money, determine what costs can be cut. Start by reviewing your expenses and prioritize what expenses must be paid.
The fixed expenses will most likely remain, but you may be able to adjust your variable expenses. Take time to review which can be cut. Can you skip takeout this weekend or maybe not buy the cute sweater at that shop?
Make a Cleaning Schedule
After a long week of work and running errands, the last thing I want to do is spend 6 hours cleaning on a Sunday afternoon. Rather than doing this deep clean once a week, I reduce the amount of time I spend cleaning by planning my days with small daily tasks.
Create a cleaning schedule with 2-3 cleaning tasks that take 15-20 minutes each. By cleaning each day, not only do you maintain a well-kept home, but you avoid burnout at the end of an already long week. See the example below for ways you can plan your weekly cleaning.
For more cleaning tips, check out our Cleaning And Organization Tips With ADHD article.
Meal Prep to Save Time
If cooking for hours on end after a long day of holiday shopping doesn’t sound appealing to you, meal prep! Designate 1 or 2 days each week to cook food in bulk that can be stored and then eaten for the following days.
Yes, it may seem like a lot to cook in one moment, but imagine how easy it will be tomorrow, when all you have to do for dinner is reheat the food you made earlier in the week! Check out Budget Bytes for some meal prep on a budget ideas.
Do you ever catch yourself craving a savory Christmas ham or delicious Hanukkah brisket during the holidays? Want to make that tasty treat but just don’t have the time? Websites like Food Network and Southern Living have tons of and for festive weeknight meals you can quickly and easily prepare during the holiday season.
LSA also just launched an EF-Friendly Cookbook that has some helpful holiday ideas as well.
Manage Your Email
SALE! SALE! SALE!
Promotions are running and prices are dropping. Nothing is better than buying something when the deal is great.
We often see these bold words across various shopping centers during the holiday season. However, if you have an email address, you may also be getting these promotions sent directly to your phone daily.
Don’t get me wrong, getting those emails are great for making you aware of the deals, however, can sometimes be overwhelming. Individuals with emerging executive functioning skills may find this especially challenging as they may experience trouble organizing their materials, setting and following schedules, and planning and sticking with tasks (Rodden & Saline, 2022). These notifications, daily or even sometimes hourly, can be a lot to manage when you already have tons of other personal and work related emails to keep track of.
Seeing that notification of 1000+ emails can be so daunting and even make you think “I don’t want to deal with that now.” Combat procrastination by setting a designated time each day for managing emails. Set a timer for 10 minutes once or twice a day just for reviewing and responding to emails.
Oftentimes, we don’t realize we have subscribed to so many companies that just add to our email list. Use the holiday season to also determine which emails you can cancel your subscriptions to or reduce the number of notifications they send.
Give yourself gentle reminders that what you get done during this time is just enough and you can pick up where you left off during your next email review session.
Seize the Day by Planning
It’s easy to overbook yourself during the holiday season, whether it’s going to work, managing the house, and spending time with the family. Saying yes to spread holiday cheer and help those around you is very honorable but spreading yourself thin will eventually result in feeling burnt out.
Find better ways to manage your time by time blocking. Using a paper planner or digital calendar on your phone, schedule your days by the hour. Log the time you are at work, when you plan to exercise, cook meals, and spend time with loved ones.
Create To Do Lists to manage the tasks you would like to accomplish during the day. You can then estimate how long it will take you to complete each task and schedule it into your day to ensure it gets done.
Be sure to include travel time between places. These may seem like small 15 minute chunks here and there, but by the end of the day, certainly do add up! See the example below for a sample time-blocking schedule you can follow.
Get Enough Sleep
Do you ever catch yourself yawning and it’s only 10 AM? It may be a result of lack of sleep.
It is recommended that people get at least 7 hours of sleep each night, however, a recent sleep survey shows that during the holiday season, some get as little as 3-5 hours of sleep (Ettinger, 2022). The top reasons for this loss of sleep were due to visiting family members, feeling holiday pressure, hosting family members, financial stress, and traveling (Little, 2022).
Sleep is fundamental for maintaining good health and overall well-being. Whether it is regulating our hormones and metabolism, boosting our immune system, or optimizing brain functions, sleep is critical for our daily living.
Ensure a good night’s rest by (LaMotte, 2022) (Good Sleep Habits, 2022):
- Avoiding eating in excess and drinking enough water
- Monitor your alcohol intake, especially right before bed
- Avoid large amounts of sugar before bed
- Have a consistent sleep schedule each day
- Ensure a cozy sleep environment – electronics away, quiet, and dark room
Holiday Executive Functioning Tips From Suzan
Suzan Allen is an Executive Functioning Coach and has also worked as an LEP Academic Counselor, serving neurodiverse students of various types. Suzan is also the parent of a neurodiverse son.
Being a mom with mild dyslexia, who also has a neurodiverse child, I have found that by putting a few, key strategies in place, the holiday season can still be fun and enjoyable while reducing some of the triggers that can lead to unnecessary stress and meltdowns. Listed below are some of my tips for an enjoyable season. Hopefully, with a little bit of preparation, you will have special holidays that build fond memories for everyone around you.
Prioritize but be flexible
Have you ever tried to juggle two balls at once? What about 5? Or even 10? Trying to juggle many competing demands around the holidays can seem nearly impossible and never-ending.
Managing the mix of everyday and extra tasks like cleaning, baking, sending out holiday cards, shopping for gifts, replying to invitations, and others, can require more executive functioning skills than the average person can easily handle, not to mention someone who struggles with executive functioning skills.
By allowing yourself to say “no” to some optional activities that can be reduced or eliminated, you can prioritize those that might bring you and your loved ones the most satisfaction and contentment.
For example, if an invitation to both a holiday play and a party with extended family will require you to make a mad dash from one to the other, consider which one you really want to attend and feel free to politely decline the other. Most family and friends will understand that you may not be comfortable, or even able, to have multiple, possibly conflicting, plans within a short time frame.
Or say you have over-committed, and run out of time, when you promised to make and bring a homemade dish to a party, try exercising some flexibility by offering yourself some alternative solutions, such as purchasing an easy, premade item from the store, likely saving a lot of time and stress.
Remember, by prioritizing and remaining flexible, you are in charge of what is really important to celebrate your holidays the way you want to, while reducing the extra stuff that just doesn’t seem to fit in.
11. Communicate your needs to those around you
When my son was younger, I would often notice him struggling during get-togethers and events because his senses were overwhelmed and overstimulated by unfamiliar smells, tastes, loud voices, and new surroundings. At first, I wasn’t sure how to discuss his needs and sometimes felt isolated when we were in a group setting. And then I took a chance by starting to talk about how his needs might be better met.
By reaching out for support from those around me, I learned to calmly problem-solve with their help and find answers to his challenges, such as creating a ‘sensory safe’ place where he could unwind and regroup. If it is you who is experiencing the sensory overload, consider letting others you trust know how you feel.
Perhaps, with their support, strategies such as creating a time limit for your participation, will help you determine when you’ve had enough and can comfortably exit without feeling awkward.
Remember, we all have felt overwhelmed by situations, and there is nothing wrong with communicating your needs. In fact, relationships can often be strengthened by being honest and genuine because it allows others to be open to sharing more about themselves.
12. Create a visual schedule
Create a visual schedule including a holiday event calendar and ‘to-do’ lists to break down tasks for yourself and/or your family. It may help to post the calendar and lists where everyone can easily refer to them. By having a visual reminder of what is next in the day or week, you can adjust your expectations accordingly.
For example, if you are planning a dinner with ten guests, you will likely need to schedule time prior for cleaning, decorating the house, shopping for groceries, baking and preparing dishes, and choosing what to wear.
Since each activity requires time management, organization, and prioritization skills, you can help calm the chaos by creating a manageable timeline for each activity. Also, it can allow you to determine if time runs short, what can you comfortably cut from the list while still enjoying yourself.
13. Make ‘Keep It Simple’ your mantra for holiday success
It’s easy to become bogged down and overwhelmed when trying to plan every detail for events and get-togethers. But by simplifying and reducing potentially complicated situations, you might have all of the fun without the added stress. If trying to create the ‘perfect’ holiday is getting in the way of actually enjoying the time spent with family and friends, consider the ‘less is more’ principle.
For instance, instead of hosting a formal, sit down meal that will require a lot of coordination, perhaps a buffet-style potluck with everybody bringing a dish might be far less taxing on your hosting and serving skills.
Enjoying togetherness with a simple, informal structure can allow for people to share their individual styles, skills and personal needs without a lot of pressure and inflated expectations.
14. Maintain important routines
Your need for sleep, nutrition, time to unwind, exercise, and practicing self-care are important aspects to your healthy routine and can sometimes be overlooked and ignored during the busy holiday season.
Showering, brushing your teeth, maintaining morning and bedtime routines, keeping your living area clean and clutter-free, and doing the necessary chores around the house can keep everyday life from becoming unmanageable and feeling chaotic.
Stress from unmet needs can deplete your reserves and weaken executive functioning skills, not to mention, it can even leave you more susceptible to becoming sick.
Sometimes, it can really help to lean in, listen to your own emotional and physical needs, and retool your schedule to keep healthy parts of your regular routine in place, perhaps especially during the holidays.
15. Acknowledge your successes and limitations
Remember to give yourself a pat on the back for trying to multitask and handle the holiday season’s challenges, while also acknowledging when you have reached your limitations.
Perhaps you feel proud for putting a lot of thought into friends’ and family’s gifts, while you might also feel frustrated that you didn’t finish some items on your ‘to do’ list or ran out of time to run an errand for a relative.
A little reflection on the positives from this holiday season might help balance out some ideas for how to improve your process for next year. As your executive functioning skills build, over time, you may become more capable of setting additional goals and accepting new challenges.
Learning to appreciate how you have grown in your own, unique way can be fulfilling, even as you explore new approaches and different problem-solving skills.
To learn more about executive functioning skills, please get your free EF assessment.
16. Be gentle with yourself and others
The point is to enjoy the holiday experience, not fret over how it could have been better ‘if only’ something might have happened differently- Just like you, or perhaps another family member, might struggle with executive functioning issues, other family members and friends might have their own challenges this holiday season.
Someone at the dinner table may be quietly grieving a lost loved one this year, or a close friend at a party might be dealing with being fired from a job.
Try to remember that each person has challenges and needs compassion, just as you do, and the holidays are a good time to support one another and let each person know they are cared about and valued.
A little kindness, gentleness, perhaps mixed with some fun and humor, can create a safe environment for you and those you care about to feel free to be themselves and enjoy everything the holidays have to offer.
For a few more tips for managing expectations and enjoying the holidays, check here.
Further Reading
- ADDitude. What Is Executive Dysfunction? Signs and Symptoms of EFD.
- Building Flexibility: Activities To Teach Diverse Learners How To Adapt To Change
- Executive Functions – The Holidays Really Test These Skills
- How to Keep A Healthy Routine During the Holidays
- Investopedia – Average Cost of Holiday Spending
- Life Skills Advocate Blog – Time Management
- Life Skills Advocate – The Real-Life EF Cookbook
- Mattress Advisor – How Much Sleep the Holiday Season Steals from You.
- Sleepopolis – Don’t Lose Sleep Over Holiday Stress: A Data Study.
- 10 Planning Skills Every Child Should Learn