“That was great thinking on your feet.”
“I tend to fly by the seat of my pants.”
“Off the top of my head…”
“We can just play it by ear.”
These catchphrases are so common in our language because of how commonly we have to demonstrate the skill of flexible thinking or cognitive flexibility. It’s a crucial skill for navigating everyday life—and for many neurodivergent teens and young adults, it’s a challenging one.
A strong preference for routines, difficulty shifting attention, or challenges with planning can make flexible thinking especially difficult for many neurodivergent individuals.
The good news?
These skills can be learned and strengthened over time. By intentionally practicing these behaviors, parents and teachers can help teens become more adaptable, resilient, and confident in their ability to handle life’s curveballs.
In this post, we’ll explore practical strategies you can use to help the neurodiverse teens and young adults in your life build stronger flexible thinking skills.
What Is Flexible Thinking?
As mentioned above, flexible thinking, or cognitive flexibility, means adjusting your thoughts, plans, or actions when faced with new information or unexpected changes.
Dajani and Uddin define it as “the ability to appropriately adjust one’s behavior according to a changing environment.”
In everyday life, flexible thinking helps people solve problems, manage emotions, and build stronger relationships. When we can think flexibly, we are better equipped to handle disappointments, resolve conflicts, and adjust their goals when things don’t go as planned.
Examples of Flexible Thinking
Because flexible thinking captures so many different behaviors and responses, it can be hard to conceptualize exactly what your learner should be demonstrating. Here are some common scenarios for students who demonstrate cognitive flexibility:
- A teacher shortens the deadline for a paper. The student adjusts their schedule by breaking the task into smaller steps to finish on time.
- A teen’s friends decide to see a different movie than planned. Instead of refusing to go, they join and end up enjoying the new choice.
- You find as you’re about to place the order that your daughter’s favorite meal isn’t available at a restaurant. She tries a new dish instead and finds out she enjoys it as well.
- During a soccer game, the coach asks players to switch positions mid-game. Your child adapts to their new role to support the team.
- Your teen’s laptop freezes while submitting an assignment, so they switch to their phone or a library computer to meet the deadline.
- Your young adult’s schedule unexpectedly fills up, so they ask to swap chores this week with a roommate to manage their time better.
Key Characteristics of Flexible Thinkers
What’s common among the scenarios above? Flexible thinkers often demonstrate these traits:
- Ability to adapt to unexpected changes: They can switch gears when plans change or routines are disrupted.
- Willingness to consider multiple perspectives: They understand that other people may see things differently and are open to compromise.
- Comfort with trying new strategies or ideas: They are more willing to experiment with creative solutions and step outside their comfort zone.
Why Neurodivergence Makes Flexible Thinking Hard
Neurodiverse teens and young adults often experience unique challenges that make developing flexible thinking skills more difficult. These challenges are often linked to differences in executive functioning, sensory processing, and emotional regulation.
- Executive Functioning Difficulties: Neurodivergent individuals may struggle with skills like planning, organizing, and shifting focus. This can make it hard to adjust when routines change or when they need to think of alternative solutions. These trickle-down impacts can result in what we call “The Executive Functioning Ripple Effect.”
- Anxiety in Response to Change: Unexpected changes or unfamiliar situations can trigger anxiety-related responses, making it even harder for some neurodiverse individuals to pivot or adapt in the moment.
- Preference for Routines and Predictability: Many neurodiverse individuals thrive on predictable patterns and routines. While routines provide comfort, they can also make it challenging to accept changes or explore new ideas.
- Difficulty Understanding Social Cues: Struggles with social perspective-taking may limit the skills to consider alternative viewpoints or adapt behavior in social settings.
Building Flexible Thinking Skills: Practical Strategies for Parents and Teachers
While developing flexible thinking can take practice, understanding these challenges allows parents and teachers to provide the right tools, strategies, and support to help neurodivergent individuals develop stronger flexible thinking skills. Check out these strategies:
1. Practice Flexibility.
For neurodivergent learners, there’s a fine balance between building routines that help them thrive and adding intentional moments of flexibility to prepare them for unexpected changes. The best way is to practice–building and reinforcing the skill outside of difficult situations. Consider these activities to practice flexibility in safe, productive ways:
- Use Visual Schedules with “Change Cards”: Visual schedules provide structure, while “change cards” introduce controlled disruptions to help teens practice adapting to new plans.
- Practice Flexibility in Low-Stress Situations: Try simple changes, like having your teen choose a new route home or swap seats at the dinner table. Starting small helps teens build confidence in handling change while building up to bigger challenges.
- Create Backup Plans to Model Adaptability: When making plans, discuss alternative options and model how to formulate back-up plans. For example, “If the tennis courts are too crowded, we can go for ice cream instead.”
To see a sample flexibility exercise from The Real Life Executive Functioning Workbook, sign up for our free .pdf download:
2. Use Language That Encourages Flexible Thinking
The way adults frame challenges can influence how your neurodivergent teen or young adult responds to situations where flexible thinking is required.
- Encourage “Both/And” Thinking: Instead of “This or that,” invite teens to explore multiple solutions. For example, “We can have tacos tonight and save pizza for tomorrow.” This approach helps them understand that two options can coexist rather than feeling boxed into an “either/or” mindset.
- Phrase Challenges as Opportunities for Creativity: When a plan doesn’t work out, reframe the situation as a puzzle to solve: “What’s another way we could make this happen?” or “What’s the funniest solution you can think of?” This language invites your neurodivergent learner to engage their creativity rather than dwell on frustration.
- Model Flexible Self-Talk: Narrate your own flexible thinking in everyday moments. For example, “I didn’t expect this traffic, but that’s okay—I can listen to my podcast while we wait,” or “This recipe is missing an ingredient, but I can try a substitute instead.” Hearing adaptable thinking in action can help your learner begin to implement those strategies themselves.
- Discuss Mistakes as Learning Opportunities: When something goes wrong, model language like, “That didn’t work as planned, but now I know what to do differently next time.” This encourages resilience and removes the fear of failure.
3. Target Specific Problem-Solving Strategies
Flexible thinking thrives when teens and young adults have structured ways to approach unexpected problems–what we call a “problem-solving playbook.” Teaching problem-solving techniques helps learners break out of rigid thought patterns and identify multiple paths forward.
- Use Flowcharts or Brainstorming Webs: Visual tools can allow learners to map out possible solutions, compare options, and identify creative alternatives. This strategy reinforces the idea that there’s often more than one “right” answer.
- Practice Role-Play for Social Problem-Solving: Acting out tricky social situations can help teens and young adults experiment with different responses. Role-playing gives teens a safe space to practice alternative approaches before facing real-world situations.
- Teach “If/Then” Thinking: Predictive thinking helps teens anticipate outcomes. For example, “If our original plan doesn’t work, then what could we try next?” This strategy encourages adaptability and can reduce anxiety-related behaviors around uncertainty.
4. Foster Behaviors of Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation plays a vital role in flexible thinking. Many neurodivergent individuals may feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or upset when things change suddenly. However, when your learner can stay calm during frustrating situations, they are better equipped to adapt their behavior or approach.
- Help Learners Identify the Precursors of Frustration: Identifying early warning signs, like tense muscles or irritability, can empower your learner to take proactive steps (deep breaths, go for a walk, get a drink of water) before frustration escalates and the opportunity to flexibly adapt is lost.
- Teach Calming Strategies: Breathing exercises, mindfulness techniques, or physical movement can help teens regain calm when emotions spike. Practice these strategies regularly outside of frustrating moments so teens can confidently use them when needed.
- Encourage Cognitive Reframing: Help your learner reinterpret challenging situations by asking, “What’s another way to look at this?” or “What’s the upside to this change?” This type of reframing can help learners to find positives even in frustrating situations.
5. Encourage Perspective-Taking Activities
Flexible thinking flourishes when your learner can imagine different viewpoints and understand alternative perspectives. Perspective-taking activities can expand their thinking and improve social awareness.
- Play Strategy Games That Require Adaptability: Board games like “Codenames,” “Chess,” or “Carcassonne” challenge players to adjust tactics and anticipate an opponent’s strategy. For additional board game suggestions, check out our list of 25 Board Games that Promote Executive Functioning Skills.
- Discuss Multiple Interpretations: Build on your teen or young adult’s favorite hobbies by setting aside opportunities to analyze books, movies, or social situations from different characters’ viewpoints. Discuss opportunities where characters successfully use flexible thinking or find situations where flexible thinking could have solved a problem in a better/faster way.
Assessing Flexible Thinking
Download our free executive functioning assessment below or click here to learn more.
TL;DR: Too Long, Didn’t Read
Flexible thinking, or cognitive flexibility, is the ability to adapt to new information, unexpected challenges, and changing circumstances. Neurodivergent teens and young adults may struggle with this skill due to executive functioning difficulties, anxiety, preference for routines, or challenges with social cues.
However, with practice, they can improve their adaptability. Parents and teachers can help by incorporating flexibility-building activities like using visual schedules with change cards, modeling adaptable language, encouraging creative problem-solving, teaching emotional regulation strategies, and fostering perspective-taking.
By intentionally developing these skills, neurodivergent learners can become more resilient, adaptable, and confident in handling life’s uncertainties.
Further Reading
- Dajani and Uddin (2017) – Demystifying cognitive flexibility: Implications for clinical and developmental neuroscience
- Life Skills Advocate –25 Board Games that Promote Executive Functioning Skills.
- Life Skills Advocate – The Executive Functioning Ripple Effect