Building a strong support network is like constructing a solid foundation—it helps you weather challenges, grow, and create meaningful progress.
For neurodivergent individuals and families, creating a network that truly understands and meets your unique needs is even more essential.
Whether you’re navigating school, work, or daily life, having people who offer the right kind of support can make all the difference.
But how do you build that network when your needs might be different from others?
In this guide, we’ll walk through the steps to help you identify your needs, connect with the right resources, and create a support system that empowers you to live your best life.
The Science Behind Support Networks
Social support reduces stress, improves mental health, and fosters resilience for neurodivergent individuals.
Social connectedness occurs when individuals are part of a community and have meaningful relationships. These connections help people see themselves as valuable and important members of society. Social connectedness is a basic human need that helps people feel relaxed, a better sense of well-being, and reduced psychological distress. However, it’s important to acknowledge that for some neurodivergent individuals, social situations may feel inherently challenging, and that’s valid too. This creates a sense of belonging, inner security, and emotional health (p. 136). People with strong social connections tend to build healthier relationships, participate actively in social activities, and experience better emotional development. Whereas those with poor social connectedness often face emotional challenges and difficulty forming positive relationships.
Social Scaffolding
Social scaffolding is a way in which people support each other to learn to manage challenges more easily. Social scaffolding means having people in your life, such as friends, family, or teachers, who offer help and guidance when you need it most. For example, parents and teachers might help you learn to be organized by walking you through how to use a planner and checking in on your use of it. After you have learned to use this tool on your own, you won’t need that support as much to be organized. Social scaffolding can help neurodivergent individuals learn to navigate different situations in their own way, by collaboratively enhancing executive function skills in a manner that respects individual autonomy and preferences.
Types of Social Support
Neurodivergent individuals and families can benefit greatly from seeking out various forms of social support, as each type addresses specific needs and challenges.
Emotional Support
This type of support involves expressions of empathy, trust, love, and care. People who offer emotional support allow us to share feelings and experiences without fear of judgment, helping neurodivergent individuals feel understood and valued. Examples of this type of support include a friend or family member listening during a difficult time, participating in neurodivergent-affirming support groups or online communities where experiences are shared, and attending counseling sessions with a therapist who validates your experiences.
Instrumental Support
Instrumental support is tangible and practical assistance that helps with daily tasks or challenges. This form of support can be especially impactful for neurodivergent individuals, complementing their unique strengths while addressing areas where additional assistance is beneficial. Examples of this type of support include a neighbor helping with childcare or transportation to appointments, a teacher assisting with homework, or community organizations that offer respite care.
Informational Support
Informational support provides advice, recommendations, and insights. This can help neurodivergent individuals and families make informed decisions and access resources that improve their quality of life. Examples of this type of support include receiving guidance from an occupational therapist on sensory-friendly strategies for home and school or participating in online groups that share tips for navigating Individualized Education Plans (IEPs).
Appraisal Support
Appraisal support involves feedback, knowledge, and facts that help individuals reflect on their experiences and evaluate their options. This form of support fosters self-awareness and growth by encouraging self-reflection. Examples of this type of support include a life coach helping a learner set achievable goals or peers providing feedback on personal improvement.
Step-by-Step Guide to Building a Support Network
Step 1: Identify Your Needs and Goals
The first step in developing a support network as a neurodivergent individual is to identify your specific needs and goals. Start by reflecting on the areas where you would benefit from additional help, such as educational advocacy, emotional well-being, or career mentorship. Tools like needs assessments or journaling prompts can help you clarify what type of support you’re seeking and why it’s important to you. For example, you might identify a need for someone to help you navigate school accommodations or find a mentor who understands how neurodivergence can impact career growth.
Step 2: Map Out the Network You Have Now
Before seeking new people to connect with, it’s important to understand your current relationships. Take a moment to write or draw out the people already in your life who provide support, such as family members, teachers, friends, coworkers, or community groups. This process helps you identify the strengths of these relationships, such as who you can rely on for emotional support or practical help. This also highlights any gaps where additional connections might be needed, like finding a mentor or joining a peer group. By mapping your network, you can see where to focus your efforts as you expand your circle of support.
Step 3: Connect with Relevant Resources
Now that you have identified your existing support circle it’s time to find and connect with resources that align with your needs. Start by exploring local community groups, therapists, and online forums that cater to neurodivergent individuals and families. Many inclusive organizations offer services such as peer support groups, educational resources, and advocacy tools designed to empower neurodivergent people. For example, you might join a neurodiversity-affirming meetup group, consult with a therapist specializing in neurodivergence, or participate in online communities that share advice and encouragement.
LSA has a page dedicated to Neurodivergent-Friendly Tools and Resources, including learning platforms, software/tools, housing, school planning, and employment that may help you in this process!
Step 4: Develop Self-Advocacy Skills
While building a support network, it’s important to develop effective communication strategies to express your needs clearly and advocate for yourself. Strong self-advocacy skills help others understand how they can best support you. Start by identifying what you want to communicate, such as a specific request for assistance or information about how your neurodivergence impacts your needs.
Using sample scripts can make reaching out easier. For example, you could say, “I’m working on organizing my daily tasks and was wondering if you could recommend a system that’s worked for you,” or “I’d appreciate your help in navigating these accommodations at school.” Practicing clear and confident communication ensures your message is understood and helps establish stronger, more collaborative relationships with your supporters.
Step 5: Creating & Maintaining Relationships
Just as it’s important to create relationships with your support network, it’s equally as important to maintain your relationships. Maintaining relationships can be uniquely challenging for some neurodivergent individuals due to factors like social anxiety or burnout. Consider employing strategies like setting reminders for regular check-ins, using apps to stay organized, or prioritizing low-pressure forms of connection, such as:
- Texting
- Shared activities
- Regular check-ins
- Expressions of gratitude
- Acts of kindness
These actions are key to keeping relationships strong and supportive. For instance, you can schedule occasional calls or messages to stay in touch, thank your supporters for their help, and offer your assistance when possible. It’s common to struggle with additional barriers such as social anxiety or burnout which is essential to work through during this process. Remember, building meaningful connections is a two-way street, and consistent effort helps ensure your network remains reliable and uplifting.
Step 6: Expand Your Network Strategically
The last step in building a support network is to expand your connections strategically. One way to do this is by joining interest-based groups or volunteering, which helps you meet others who share similar passions or experiences. Look for groups focused on neurodiversity or other areas of interest, whether online or in-person, to build connections with like-minded individuals. Attending events such as neurodiversity conferences or local meetups can also be helpful. These gatherings offer opportunities to network with professionals, learn from experts, and find individuals who can provide further support.
Practical Tips and Common Mistakes
Additional Tips for Success
- Building a strong support network takes time, so it’s important to be patient with the process. It’s not something that happens overnight, and the relationships you form will grow and evolve over time.
- Using technology, like apps or organizational tools, can help you stay on top of important connections and tasks, making it easier to manage your network.
- Remember to focus on quality over quantity in your relationships. Having a few reliable, supportive individuals is far more helpful than having many less-reliable connections.
Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
- A common mistake when building a support network is depending on just one person for all your needs. This can be a lot of pressure for that person and limit the different kinds of support you get. To avoid this, try to connect with different people who can help you in different ways.
- It’s also common to overcommit socially, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed or burnt out. To prevent this, make sure you set realistic expectations and boundaries so you don’t overextend yourself.
Additional Resources
Multiple resources exist to help you, your learner, and family develop strong support networks.
NDTherapists.com is a valuable resource for neurodivergent individuals and families seeking licensed providers who meet their needs. The platform connects users with professionals who are neurodiverse themselves and deeply committed to neurodiversity-affirming values. These providers create safe, non-judgmental spaces for healing while honoring the unique ways neurodivergence shapes each person’s experience.
Through executive function coaching, individuals can gain valuable skills in areas like organization, time management, goal setting, and self-advocacy—skills that are essential for building and maintaining meaningful relationships. By working with a coach, neurodivergent individuals can identify their unique needs and learn strategies to effectively communicate those needs to potential supporters, whether they’re family members, peers, or professionals. Executive Function Coaching also helps individuals develop confidence in navigating social interactions and managing stress, which can be crucial when reaching out to and sustaining a support network.
For career-related support, a neurodivergent-affirming career coach can be a valuable part of your network.
TL;DR – (Too Long; Didn’t Read)
Building a support network is essential for neurodivergent individuals and families to navigate life effectively. Social support reduces stress, improves mental health, and fosters resilience for neurodivergent individuals. Social support can look different depending on your needs, such as emotional, instrumental, informational, and appraisal support.
When looking to develop a support network, identify your needs and goals and then map out your current connections to spot strengths and gaps. Connect with relevant resources like community groups, therapists, and online forums that align with your needs and expand your network by joining interest-based groups and attending events. Patience and quality over quantity are key. Avoid relying on just one person for support, as this can place too much pressure on them and limit the diversity of perspectives and assistance available to you. Similarly, overcommitting socially can lead to burnout, so setting boundaries and prioritizing meaningful connections is essential.
Further Reading
- Cicek (2021) – Effect of Hope on Resilience in Adolescents: Social Support and Social Connectedness as Mediators
- Explore Psychology (2024) – What is Scaffolding in Psychology?NDTherapists.com (2025) – Find a Therapist
- Psychology Today (2023) – Cultivating a Strong Social Support Network
- Life Skills Advocate (2025) – Executive Function Coaching
- Life Skills Advocate (2025) – Neurodivergent-friendly Tools & Resources
- Life Skills Advocate (2024) – Practicing Real-World Self-Advocacy: A Guide for Neurodivergent Individuals
- Life Skills Advocate (2025) – 6 Steps to Help Your Child Develop a Strong “Why” When Goal Setting