An Exploration of Neurodiversity-Affirming Language

Neurodiversity-affirming language is wording that describes neurodivergent people and their support needs in a respectful, specific way, without turning differences into character flaws. It often sounds like: what I noticed, what the context is, and what support helps.

If you’re writing an IEP, emailing a teacher, giving feedback at work, or talking with family, the words on the page can shape what people expect next. Many templates still default to labels like “noncompliant” or “high functioning,” even when the goal is clarity and support.

This post offers quick definitions, a sentence builder you can copy, and tables you can use right away. The examples reflect how Life Skills Advocate strives to describe supports in coaching and in real school and home situations. You’ll also see near-synonyms like “neuroaffirming language” and “strengths-based language,” since people use different terms for a similar idea.

You do not need perfect wording to be respectful. Small shifts can reduce friction, make accommodations easier to plan, and help the person you’re describing feel accurately seen.

TL;DR

Use language that stays specific, context-aware, and support-focused.

• Describe what you observe, what makes it harder, and what helps.
• Use neurodivergent for an individual and neurodiverse for a group.
• Avoid “functioning” labels (e.g., high functioning, low functioning, etc.) and replace them with clear support descriptions.
• Swap compliance labels (like “noncompliant”) for language about needs, barriers, and regulation.
• In school documents, write supports and accommodations into the sentence, not only in a services box.
• When you’re not sure what someone prefers, asking is often the simplest next step.

This post is educational and not medical, mental health, or legal advice. Life Skills Advocate provides coaching, not therapy or healthcare.

What is neurodiversity-affirming language?

Neurodiversity-affirming language is a practical way of describing neurodivergent people that protects dignity and makes support more actionable.

Instead of using a label that implies a character problem, it points to skills, context, and support needs. For example, “lazy” becomes “having a hard time starting,” plus the conditions that help someone begin.

This approach is sometimes called neuroaffirming language or strengths-based language. The goal is not to “sound nice,” but to be accurate enough that another adult can read your notes and know what to try next.

What do neurodiversity, neurodivergent, and neurodiverse mean?

Neurodiversity describes the natural variation in how human brains work.

Neurodivergent describes a person whose brain and nervous system work in ways that differ from the majority.

Neurodiverse is most accurate when you’re describing a group of people with different neurotypes, not one individual. A classroom can be neurodiverse, a family can be neurodiverse, and a workplace team can be neurodiverse.

This mix-up happens a lot because the words sound similar, and different communities use them in slightly different ways.

A simple rule of thumb is to use “neurodivergent” for one person and “neurodiverse” for a group.

The NHS Dorset language guide offers a plain-language explanation you can share with colleagues or caregivers.

Why do the words we use change outcomes in real life?

Words are shortcuts, and shortcuts shape decisions. The label someone hears often influences whether they respond with curiosity and support or with frustration and control.

In school and workplace settings, labels can quietly move a person into a “problem to manage” box. Careful wording keeps the focus on what makes something harder and what supports reduce the barrier.

Language alone will not fix inequity or inaccessibility. Still, more precise descriptions can reduce blame, lower conflict, and make collaboration easier because they point to next steps.

The NCDJ disability language style guide is a solid reference when you want wording that is respectful and widely understood.

Masking is one reason this topic matters: someone can appear “fine” while using a lot of energy to keep up. For a research overview that discusses masking and normalization, see this open-access masking review.

What this can look like in a buy-in conversation

What this can look like: “I’m not trying to police anyone’s wording. I’m trying to make our notes usable. If we write ‘noncompliant,’ we still have to guess why. If we write ‘needs choices, a preview, and a short break plan,’ we know what support to try next.”

If the team is skeptical, keep it concrete. Pick one common label from a recent note, rewrite it with context and support, and see if the new version makes the next meeting shorter and calmer.

Where did neurodiversity-affirming language come from?

Neurodiversity-affirming language grew alongside disability rights and self-advocacy movements that challenged the idea that disability is only a “problem inside the person.”

Many people describe this shift as moving from a medical model lens toward a social model lens. The medical model often centers diagnosis and treatment, while the social model centers barriers, access, and the environment.

If you want a quick comparison written for a general audience, this page on medical and social models is a helpful starting point.

In real life, people and systems can hold both lenses at once. A person can need meaningful supports and accommodations while also benefiting from medical care.

A quick timeline of how terms shifted

Language changes are not neat, and different communities move at different speeds. This is a simplified snapshot of the bigger trend.

What words do people avoid, and what can you say instead?

You can think of this as “make it more specific,” not “make it more flattering.” The most helpful swaps add context and supports so the reader understands what’s getting in the way.

When a phrase is vague or loaded, it often hides missing information. “Unmotivated” might mean the task feels pointless, the steps are unclear, the sensory load is high, the demand load is too steep, or the person is running out of energy.

A quick way to reframe is to write the observation first, then add the setting, then add what helps. That structure is respectful, and it also turns your language into something another adult can act on.

Here is a simple sentence builder you can copy into notes, emails, and school documents.

The table below is a starting point for common terms that show up in reports and conversations. If you’re writing formal documentation, it often helps to add one more sentence about the setting and the support plan.

How do I describe behavior without labels?

Start with what happened, add the context, and end with what support helps. That pattern keeps the focus on understanding and problem-solving instead of blame.

Behavior is often shaped by regulation, sensory load, demand load, uncertainty, or past experiences in similar situations. When you name those factors, your description becomes more accurate and less likely to trigger defensive reactions.

It can also help to separate “can’t” from “not yet.” A student might do a skill in one setting but not another because the environment is louder, the instructions are less clear, or the recovery time is shorter.

One communication approach that can support this mindset is declarative language, which focuses on noticing and describing rather than escalating demands.

What this can look like during a shutdown

What this can look like: “When Jordan gets quiet and stops responding, we treat it as a need for reduced demand. We lower our language, offer a calm choice (‘quiet corner’ or ‘water break’), and give time before asking questions. After recovery, we review what was hard and update the plan for next time.”

In a note or plan, you can also name early signs and re-entry support, such as a short check-in, a written prompt, or a “first step” card.

What this can look like when you need to enforce a limit

What this can look like: “I can’t let you throw materials. I’m going to move them out of reach and give you space. You can choose a break or you can choose help starting the first step.”

This keeps the limit clear without adding extra heat, and it gives a path back into the task. That matters for neurodivergent learners who get stuck in transitions.

How do I write neurodiversity-affirming language in school documents?

Write in a way that a new team member could read and immediately understand what helps. In practice, that means observable skills, specific barriers, and specific supports.

Deficit-heavy language shows up most often in present levels, teacher narratives, evaluation summaries, and progress notes. A simple upgrade is to swap labels for descriptions and add the accommodation or scaffold right in the sentence.

If you’re unsure whether a support belongs in a 504 plan or an IEP, this post on IEPs vs 504s can help you match the wording to the document’s purpose.

For executive functioning needs, concrete supports like checklists, reduced copying demands, and planned check-ins often help. See these executive functioning accommodations for examples you can translate into documentation language.

If you’re updating team language, it can help to pick one high-friction phrase and agree on a shared replacement. The goal is consistency and clarity.

Should I use identity-first or person-first language?

There is no universal rule, because preferences vary. When you can, asking the person what they prefer is often the most respectful option.

Person-first language (“person with autism”) is often used to emphasize personhood, while identity-first language (“autistic person”) is often used to emphasize identity and community. Both have histories, and both can be used with care.

If you want a family-facing overview of these perspectives, the AAP autism terminology primer summarizes why people may choose differently.

When you do not know someone’s preference and you cannot ask in the moment, use neutral wording and avoid making the diagnosis the headline of the sentence. For example, you might write “people on the autism spectrum,” or simply “the person,” “the child,” or “the student” when the diagnosis is not necessary for the point you are making. You can also mirror the language a person uses for themselves.

A simple script: “When I write about supports, what language do you prefer I use for you or your child?”

If you’re updating team language, it can help to pick one high-friction phrase and agree on a shared replacement. The goal is consistency and clarity.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is neurodiversity-affirming language only about autism?

No. People use neurodiversity-affirming language across many neurotypes, including ADHD, dyslexia, and more. The common thread is describing differences in a way that stays respectful and leads to clearer support.

What’s the problem with “high functioning” and “low functioning” labels?

Those labels can hide real support needs and can also flatten a person into a single category. Many guides recommend describing specific supports and barriers instead, and keeping the description tied to the setting.

Can I use clinical terms in a report and still be affirming?

Often, yes. If a document requires clinical wording, you can pair it with plain-language descriptions of what helps and what barriers show up. That combination tends to be both accurate and more useful.

How do I describe masking in a school or workplace note?

You can describe it as “working hard to appear okay” or “using a lot of effort to match expectations,” then name the impact, like fatigue or increased shutdown risk later. The key is to connect it to support, such as reduced demand after high-social days or clearer written expectations.

What if a colleague or family member prefers older terms?

Start with shared goals, like clarity and lower conflict. You can ask what they mean by the term, then offer a more specific rewrite that keeps the intent while adding context and support.

Next steps

If you only take one step from this post, make it this: rewrite one high-friction label into an observation plus a support plan. That small change often improves the next conversation.

For school and home teams, it can help to keep a shared “swap list” in a doc and update it over time. The goal is shared language that makes support easier to deliver.

If you want help translating these ideas into real routines and accommodations, explore executive function coaching that focuses on practical skills and support strategies.

If you’re deciding what kind of support fits your situation, you can also book a discovery meeting to talk through goals and next steps.

1. Pick one label you see often (example: “noncompliant”).
2. Rewrite it using the sentence builder: observation, context, meaning, support.
3. Share the rewrite with one other adult and ask, “Is this more actionable?”
4. Save the final version in a shared doc so it becomes the new default.

Over time, these small edits add up to clearer plans, calmer conversations, and fewer misunderstandings.

Further Reading

• NHS Dorset language guide – Plain-language definitions and examples of terms many people prefer, plus wording that can reduce stigma.
• Neurodiversity affirmative practice – Practical principles for support that centers access, autonomy, and environment fit.
• NCDJ disability language style guide – Widely used guidance for respectful disability language, including how to handle preference differences.
• Open-access masking review – Research overview of masking and normalization, with context on why “looks fine” can be misleading.
• Medical and social models – Short, clear explanation of the medical model and social model and how they influence language and support planning.
• Declarative language post – Communication approach that emphasizes noticing and collaboration, which often reduces escalation in hard moments.
• IEP vs 504 – Quick guide to the purpose of each plan and how that affects what you document and how you word supports.
• Executive functioning accommodations – Concrete school supports you can reference when translating “needs” into actionable accommodations.
• AAP autism terminology primer – Overview of person-first and identity-first language and why preferences can vary across individuals and contexts.
• Executive function coaching – Overview of neuroaffirming and skills-focused coaching support for planning, follow-through, routines, and daily functioning.