In our Part I: Every Parent’s Guide to Decision Fatigue article, we took a deep dive into how parents can avoid and overcome decision fatigue in an era where decisions for parents abound.
Even though much of the research social psychologist Roy F. Baumeister conducted on the phenomenon was with adults, it’s increasingly more common in children and adolescents as well.
So what is decision fatigue, and why is “decision” such a limited resource for our kids? We’ll explain exactly what it is (and how to work around it) in this guide.
What Is Decision Fatigue in Children?
Decision fatigue occurs when a child demonstrates a lack of self-control or makes poor decisions following periods of needing to making good decisions and demonstrate good self-control.
Have you experienced after school meltdowns with your child? As if they’ve ‘held it together’ all day, only to come home and show all types of challenges? Do your children do well on a marathon shopping trip at the beginning, but start to have less impulse control towards the end?
The decision fatigue model suggests that these common parenting scenarios may, in part, relate to decision fatigue.
After repeatedly having to make good choices, we’re less and less capable of making a good choice as the next one presents itself. It’s as if we have a limited number of good decisions before we’re bound to make a bad one.
What Are the Symptoms of Decision Fatigue?
The symptoms of decision fatigue in children look similar to those Baumeister and colleagues described in adults. As a parent of a child experiencing decision fatigue, you may observe some of these behaviors:
In children with autism or with other unique learning needs, you may find these symptoms to be even more complicated.
Compounded with difficulties social communication barriers or challenges expressing internal thoughts and feelings, it can be even more difficult for a parent or child to identify decision fatigue.
For both children and teens, some amount of avoidance and procrastination are developmentally appropriate. Your child may be testing boundaries and experiencing the independence that comes with greater autonomy.
If you’re unsure if you’re child may be struggling with decision fatigue, monitor and watch for patterns of decision fatigue behavior rather than single events.
Helping Your Child Overcome Decision Fatigue
What happens if you consistently identify the symptoms of decision fatigue in your child? Interestingly, many of the same strategies that can benefit parents can also apply to help your child avoid and overcome it.
Model Good Decision Making Habits
One strategy to review before diving into child-based recommendations is to monitor your own susceptibility to decision fatigue.
If you consistently find yourself coming up against burnout or a lack of self-control, it’s likely to be challenging to resolve decision fatigue issues with your child.
Remember to model good habits when it comes to decision fatigue. Focus on reducing your own stressors and unnecessary decision before you work to address your child’s decision fatigue.
Observe and Collect Information
After you’ve evaluated your risks for decision fatigue, next assess your child’s risks. Observe your child’s behavior over several days or weeks.
Collect some introductory information about the ABC’s (antecedent, behaviors, and consequences) related to choice-making, self-control, and decision fatigue.
Try to get a sense of when and where your child might stumble or express decision avoidance.
Evaluate the consequences of your child’s decision fatigue. If it frequently results in adult support or avoiding tasks, it can provide more information about what interventions may work best when you experience decision fatigue at home.
Reduce the Available Options
One of the easiest ways you can help a child overcome decision fatigue is to reduce the available options.
Does your child need unlimited choices of what to watch on Netflix and Hulu? Or does a choice between two shows suffice?
Does having a set meal plan help you and your child make better decisions around eating versus an ad-hoc approach to whatever’s in the pantry.
Does your child need 40 different outfits to choose from, or does a selection of 8-10 choices help them be more independent with a morning routine?
Conduct a decision-making audit of your child’s day. How can you reduce the available options you provide your child, and subsequently reduce the risk of decision fatigue? How can you provide shortcuts to streamline the decision-making process? Can you give a “default option” when decisions are particularly tough to come by?
Use Visuals to Help With Decisions
For children and adults with unique needs, visual strategies and supports have repeatedly shown to provide increased engagement and independence with daily living skills.
Teaching your child to rely on visual schedules, reminders, and scripts for routine and self-care activities can reduce the number of decisions required across the day.
When using a visual plan, your child doesn’t need to actively decide which order to complete the steps of the morning routine; pre-set the steps and your child follows along.
Visual reminders about where things belong can help reduce decisions related to cleaning, caring for pets, or getting out the door for the day.
Establish Routines Around Sleeping
Not only is it essential for you to regularly observe your child’s behaviors related to decision-making, but it’s also necessary to keep a close eye on sleep habits.
The CDC reports that an alarming 6 out of 10 middle school students and 7 out of 10 high school students get insufficient sleep. Hundreds of studies have shown that sleep deprivation impairs our ability to make decisions and perform basic tasks.
It’s shown to increase behavioral problems and put kids at higher risk for other health-related issues like obesity and mental health disorders.
Parents should work to establish good sleep routines with their children as they become more independent and grow into adulthood. Promote a consistent bedtime that allows for sufficient rest each night.
Practice reasonable bedtimes during the week and on the weekends. Avoid playing ‘catch up’ on the weekends with your children. Getting up at the same time of day and going to bed at the same time can reduce the additional decisions your child needs to make and reduce brain fog.
Finally, monitor screen time habits before bed as it’s known to impact our ability to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Adequate Nutrition
Another factor that can contribute to decision fatigue is low glucose levels. When your child’s blood sugar dips, it can be more challenging to avoid poor choices of food and show good impulse control.
For children with autism, this can mean challenges with choice-making, controlling restrictive and repetitive behaviors, or higher rates of maladaptive behaviors like aggression and refusals.
As a parent of a child who may be at risk for decision fatigue, it can be helpful to watch your child’s calorie intake. Work to ensure that your child eats regular, well-balanced meals.
As your child works towards greater independence and self-regulation, teach the importance of adequate nutrition. If your child struggles with low glucose levels, talk with a health care team about it.
Aim to teach your child the symptoms and signs of low blood sugar in his or her own body and to eat frequent meals.
Recognize Fatigue And Provide Support
Despite your best efforts to avoid decision fatigue, at some point, we all experience it. If you’re observing the signs of decision fatigue in your child (task avoidance, procrastination, impulse issues, etc.), it’s essential to step in.
Recognize decision fatigue in your child and help them identify the strategies that will be helpful at the moment.
Use supportive language rather than scolding (i.e., “I can see how hard this is for you right now” and “It looks like you’re having trouble making a choice right now, let’s take a break together and to see if that helps.”
Parents of unique learners, particularly children with autism, should also be on the lookout for what’s known as learned helplessness. Unlike decision fatigue, learned helplessness is characterized by a child’s inability to complete tasks because of a dependence on adult support.
Whereas decision fatigue comes about from having to make many important decisions, learned helplessness comes about from a child learning that certain behaviors result in others completing a task for them.
What might start as decision fatigue can quickly develop into learned helplessness in children with ASD, without carefully examining the motivating factors for a child’s behavior.
Surround Your Child With Professional Supports
If you’ve tried some of the strategies above, or are concerned you may not have the support necessary to help your child with decision fatigue, consult with a professional.
Your child’s medical care team or an experienced mental health professional can support you in making informed decisions about the best steps for you and your child.
Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. It doesn’t show signs of failure or parenting ineptness–only that you want the very best for your child.
Decision Fatigue Concepts Visualized
Create Strong Decision Makers with EF Coaching
Parenting is full of big decisions, but you don’t have to do it alone. Consider seeking out executive functioning coaching, which can help your child learn how to maximize their mental energy for better trade-offs of their time and more balanced life decisions.
EF programs provide proven strategies for overcoming mental fatigue, building independence, and strengthening decision-making abilities in children.
Take the first step toward better well-being for your child. Consider the tips above and help reduce the effects of decision fatigue on your family’s day to day life.
Further Reading
- PART ONE: Life Skills Advocate Blog: Every Parent’s Guide to Decision Fatigue
- American Psychological Association’s Monitor on Psychology: The power of self-control
- Gailliot, MT, Baumeister, RF (2007) The physiology of willpower: Linking blood glucose to self-control. Personality and Social Psychology Review: An Official Journal of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Inc 11(4): 303–327.
- Koegel, R. L., & Mentis, M. (1985). Motivation in childhood autism: can they or won’t they?. Journal of child psychology and psychiatry, and allied disciplines, 26(2), 185–191.
- Life Skills Advocate Blog – The Surprising Connection Between Broccoli And Autism
- The Impact of Sleep Deprivation on Decision-Making: A Review
- Using Visual Supports With Young Children With Autism Spectrum Disorder
- Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength