There is a chicken and egg debate when it comes to self-image and ADHD or neurodivergence. It’s unclear which comes first: the poor self-image leading to more severe ADHD experiences or the ADHD experiences leading to a poor self-image.
However, what we do know is that the two often go hand-in-hand.
People with ADHD often have trouble in school and at work. They may feel like they can’t keep up with their peers or like they always make mistakes. These experiences can lead to negative thoughts and feelings about oneself.
Not only that, but neurodivergent people may act impulsively without thinking about the consequences of their actions. This can also lead to negative experiences, which then impact one’s self-image.
Regardless of which comes first, it’s important to address both the ADHD characteristics and the negative self-image in order to live a healthy and happy life.
But how do you do that? Let’s take a closer look.
What Exactly is Poor Self-Image?
When people think about self-image, they typically think about how someone perceives themselves.
However, self-image is much more than that. It encompasses everything from the way you see yourself, to the way you carry yourself, to the way you dress. It’s how you interact with others and how you think others perceive you. It’s important to remember that self-image is fluid, which means it can change over time.
There are a few signs that might indicate that someone has a poor self-image. For example, they might:
- Constantly compare themselves to others and feel like they fall short
- Avoid social situations or activities because they’re afraid of being judged by others
- Be overly critical of themselves and never seem to be satisfied with anything they do
- Have difficulty accepting compliments from others
If you notice any of these signs in yourself or someone you love, it might be time to start working on improving self-image.
That said, it can be hard for people who are neurodiverse to build their self-image. In this post, we’ll take a closer look at why people with ADHD tend to have a more negative self-image, and what you can do about it to end the cycle of poor self esteem.
Do People With ADHD Have Poor Self-Image?
People with ADHD often have a poor self-image. This is because ADHD symptoms often manifest in negative experiences and events. Characteristics like an inability to concentrate, forgetfulness, disorganization, and a lack of impulse control can cause problems.
For example, people with ADHD may experience poor performance in school, workplace issues, or an inability to make and keep friends.
Individuals with ADHD or another form of neurodiversity may often experience shame as a result of their disorder, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and dishonor.
Here are a few more reasons how having ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence may lead to a poor self-image.
Stigma
People with ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence often suffer from low self-esteem due to the stigma and misunderstanding surrounding the condition.
When people are not properly educated about ADHD, they may see it as a personal failing or character weakness, rather than a real neurological condition. This can lead to feeling isolated, embarrassed, and worthless.
Neurodivergent people may also be treated differently by others, which can reinforce these negative feelings. For example, they may be teased or left out by their peers, or spoken to in a condescending or impatient tone by adults.
Over time, this can lead to poor self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness.
Lack of Accommodations
Traditional classrooms and cubicles can be monotonous and unstimulating, making it difficult for people with ADHD to focus. Consequently, they may fall behind in their studies or feel like they are not meeting their full potential. This can lead to feelings of hopelessness, inadequacy, and low self-esteem.
Lack of Diagnoses
When people with ADHD are not properly diagnosed, they may not receive the treatment and accommodations they need to succeed. As a result, they may miss out on important educational and career opportunities.
Criticism and Rejection Sensitivity
Criticism and rejection are two of the most difficult things for people with ADHD and other forms of neurodiversity to deal with. Not only are they constantly bombarded with negative feedback from the outside world, but they also tend to be extremely sensitive to any criticism or rejection they receive. As a result, their self-esteem can quickly suffer.
In addition, people with ADHD often have difficulty regulating their emotions, which can lead to further feelings of low self-worth. If not addressed, this cycle of negative feedback and poor self-esteem can be very damaging for people with ADHD.
Tips for Boosting Your Self-Esteem When You Have ADHD
If you’re looking for ways to boost your self-esteem, here are a few tips that may help:
1. Believe in Yourself and Focus on Your Strengths
When you have ADHD, it’s easy to focus on your weaknesses and to believe that you are somehow “defective.” But the truth is that everyone has unique strengths and weaknesses. The important thing is to focus on your strengths and to believe in yourself.
One way to do this is to take some time each day to think about what you’re good at. Maybe you’re a great artist or a talented musician. Or maybe you’re really good at organizing things or solving problems. Whatever your strengths may be, make sure to focus on them regularly. This will help you to feel good about yourself and to build up your self-confidence.
2. Ditch the Negative Self Talk
It’s easy to get caught up in a negative feedback loop when you have ADHD. You feel like you can’t focus, so you get behind at work or school. Then you berate yourself for being “lazy” or “stupid,” which makes it even harder to focus.
But the truth is, ADHD is a real neurological condition that makes it difficult to focus and stay organized. It’s not your fault, and you are not lazy or stupid.
If you want to boost your self esteem, it’s important to ditch the negative self talk and give yourself some credit for managing your ADHD. Remember that you are capable and competent, even if you sometimes have trouble staying on task. Be patient with yourself, and give yourself grace when you make mistakes. Then, celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.
3. Set Yourself Up for Success With Mini Goals
One approach is to set yourself up for success with mini goals. For example, rather than studying for an entire test at once, break the material down into smaller sections and study a little bit each day.
You can also give yourself credit for the accomplishments you do make, no matter how small they may seem. A positive attitude and a sense of accomplishment can go a long way in boosting your self-esteem when you have ADHD.
4. Venture Outside of Your Comfort Zone
Everyone has their own comfort zone that they don’t usually like to venture outside of. People with ADHD or other forms of neurodiversity may have an even smaller comfort zone than most.
So, they may stick to only doing things they’re good at or they know they can do without making any mistakes. While it’s good to know your strengths, it’s also important to push yourself outside of your comfort zone every now and then.
Why? Because if you never try new things, you’ll never know what you’re capable of and you’ll never grow as a person.
When you do something outside of your comfort zone, it makes you feel good about yourself and boosts your self-esteem. So, the next time you’re feeling down about yourself, try doing something new and see how great it makes you feel.
5. Give Yourself At Least One Positive Piece of Feedback Each Day
One way to boost your self-esteem when you have ADHD is to give yourself at least one positive piece of feedback each day. For example, you might tell yourself that you did a good job of staying on task during a meeting, or that you handled a difficult situation well. These small affirmations can help to remind you of your strengths and accomplishments, and can over time help to increase your overall self-esteem.
6. Stop the Comparison Cycle
Everyone has their own unique set of strengths and weaknesses. However, when you are neurodivergent, it can be all too easy to focus on your shortcomings and compare yourself to others.
This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
One way to boost your self-esteem is to break the comparison cycle. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own unique gifts and talents.
Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. And remind yourself that you are just as worthy and deserving as anyone else.
7. Get Help Where and When You Need It
One of the most important things is to get help when and where you need it. Whether that means seeing a therapist, taking medication, or joining a support group, getting help will show you that you’re not alone and that you’re capable of succeeding.
8. Focus on the “Whole You”
When you have ADHD, it’s easy to focus on the things that make you feel different or “defective.” However, this can lead to feelings of low self-esteem. Instead, try to focus on the whole you—all of your strengths, talents, and accomplishments. This may require some effort at first, but it will get easier with time. And as you start to see yourself in a more positive light, your self-esteem will begin to improve.
9. Give Yourself a Sense of Control in Your Life
When you live with ADHD, it can often feel like you are out of control. Your thoughts may race, making it hard to focus, and you may feel impulsively drawn to activities that are not productive. This can lead to a sense of powerlessness and low self-esteem.
However, there are things you can do to boost your self-esteem and regain a sense of control in your life. One of the most important things is to create structure for yourself.
This may mean setting regular times for breakfast, lunch, and dinner; making a daily schedule for yourself; or setting aside time each day for exercise. By creating structure, you will be able to stick to a routine and avoid the feeling that your life is spinning out of control.
10. Understand Your Own Strengths and Weaknesses
By taking the time to evaluate your own abilities and limitations, you can develop a more realistic view of yourself. This can help you to focus on your positive qualities and learn to accept your ADHD as a part of who you are.
11. Write a Personal Mission Statement
A personal mission statement is a brief, powerful declaration of your core values and priorities in life. By articulating your mission, you can more easily make decisions that align with your goals and stay motivated to pursue your dreams.
For people with ADHD, writing a mission statement can be especially helpful in boosting self-esteem and confidence.
When faced with challenging choices or difficult tasks, simply reading your mission statement can help you to refocus on what is most important to you and remember your own worth. In addition, sharing your mission statement with others can help to hold you accountable to your goals and build a supportive network of people who believe in you.
12. Find Your Passions
Searching for your passion in life can be tough, especially when you feel like you don’t quite fit in anywhere. But if you have ADHD, it’s important to find something that lights a fire inside of you.
Why? Because passions are a great way to boost your self-esteem. When you’re passionate about something, you pour your heart and soul into it. This blood, sweat, and tears approach not only makes you feel good about yourself, but it also builds character and resilience – two qualities that come in handy when living with ADHD.
13. Consider Executive Function Coaching
If you have ADHD, executive function coaching can be a great way to boost your self esteem. Many people with ADHD struggle with organization, time management, and impulse control. As a result, they may feel like they are constantly falling behind and that they will never be able to catch up.
Executive function coaching can help you to develop the skills you need to overcome these challenges. The coach will work with you to develop customized strategies for managing your time, staying organized, and controlling impulses.
Final Thoughts
If you’re struggling with poor self-image, know that you’re not alone. There are things you can do to start making improvements today.
Remember to be patient with yourself and celebrate every small victory along the way. Regardless of whether you consider yourself to be neurodivergent or not, building your self-esteem is a process and won’t happen overnight.
Give yourself some grace – and follow these tips – and you’re sure to see a change over time!
Further Reading
- Michelle Frank, Psy.D.: You Are Not the Sum of Your ADHD Challenges
- Yosuke Kita et al: The Direct/Indirect Association of ADHD/ODD Symptoms with Self-esteem, Self-perception, and Depression in Early Adolescents – PMC
- Rebekah Pierce: Rejection Sensitivity & ADHD: What You Need To Know
- Rebekah Pierce: Shame Spiraling and ADHD – What Is It and How to Combat It
- Ramsey Solutions: How to Write a Personal Mission Statement