When it comes to adopting a new routine with your child, there’s no way around it – it’s going to be overwhelming.
It truly doesn’t matter how simple the routine might be. Even implementing a morning routine that you view as easy-peasy might be meltdown-inducing for your child. That’s doubly true for a child with unique learning needs.
Because of this, it’s important that you start small and try not to overload your child with too many “to-dos’” at once. Although you might view all of these small, individual tasks as manageable and easy to accomplish, that won’t be the case for your child. It’s important that you “get on their level” in order to help them adapt.
Implementing an effective routine that’s sure to stick starts with prioritization. Here are some tips on how to prioritize to-dos in a routine so that you – and your child – can adapt to this routine with minimal stress.
How to Prioritize To-Dos in a Routine: 9 Easy Steps
1. Decide What’s Worth It
Your first step in coming up with a list of priorities is to do just that – figure out what’s worth it, both to you and to our child.
It’s important that the two of you (perhaps other stakeholders as well, including teachers, other parents, siblings, etc) sit down and make a list of what needs to be done. When you’re first getting started, include everything. Your child might include items you view as non-essential on this list – like playing video games or watching Tik Tok videos. That’s okay. Get it all out on paper.
Before you can start making priorities, you both need to have a clear understanding of what is on each other’s minds – even those tasks that you might view as ridiculous!
2. Make Time for Healthy Activities and Rest
No matter what else is included in a routine or to-do list, make sure you include time for healthy behaviors and rest in your routine. These two things should take top priority. Unfortunately, when life gets crazy, these two things tend to be the first to go.
However, when you don’t get enough sleep, in particular, the rest of your life is going to start to slide. Studies show that sleep deficits can cause learning problems, an increase in emotional instability, and other problems. There is also evidence that too little sleep can exacerbate common features of autism, such as poor social skills and engaging in repetitive behaviors.
Both sleep and healthy practices (like eating a healthy diet and exercising) are essential for both mental and physical health so make sure you include time in a routine to prioritize those two things.
3. Prioritize Relationships
This is important for anybody who is looking to create a new routine, but particularly for children with unique learning needs, such as those with autism spectrum disorder. Relationships often do not come as second nature to children with these diverse needs. Because of that, you’ll need to encourage your child to prioritize the relationships in their life rather than putting them on autopilot or worse – ignoring them entirely.
Include time for reaching out to friends and family, attending social events, and participating in other relationship-boosting activities in your child’s routine. These should be included as priorities even when life gets crazy.
4. Know What’s Non-Negotiable (and Understand This Might Be Different For You and Your Child!)
There are certain things that you may be able to work with your child to “deprioritize” as you are creating a routine or to-do list. Some of these you may agree on – others, you may not. Understand, however, that you and your child will likely have different priorities – and that’s not only to be expected, but it’s ok.
Work together to cross a few items off the list. Some things that you may want to consider “deprioritizing” include social media and entertainment and busy work (or tasks that serve no viable purpose). It may be helpful to sit down with your child and list out every task that needs to be completed along with a potential outcome of that task.
For example, doing homework is necessary to get good grades. Brushing your teeth is necessary to prevent cavities, and so on and so forth. When you can tie each item on a to-do list to a feasible, tangible outcome, it will be easier to determine which activities produce results – and which do not.
5. Create Lists – and Check Things Off
Get all of your tasks out on paper. From submitting homework assignments to doing the dishes, it will be helpful to have all of your child’s to-dos in one place. Then, actually check off the items on that list as you work through them. There’s a lot of satisfaction to be had in crossing things off a list!
And when you’re checking those lists and reviewing the tasks that need to be done, consider whether you can apply the four “D’s” to any of the items on the list. This is something best applied to routines for older children – but you can work with any child to see if any of the “D’s” apply.
The D’s are:
- Do
- Defer
- Delegate
- Delete
Can you do the task now? Can you defer it to complete it later? Can the task be delegated to someone else – or can it be deleted from the list?
6. Consolidate
Consider consolidating like tasks together into more manageable chunks. This won’t necessarily involve prioritizing any one task over another, but it will make them easier to manage.
For instance, instead of having your child do multiple separate cleaning tasks at various points in the day (making his bed in the morning, putting his laundry away at night) he can do all of those tasks at one time. Also known as time blocking, this is an effective way to get more done in a limited amount of time (with minimal mental stress to boot!).
This may make it easier for him to handle the “mental load” of all of these individual tasks – they can easily be viewed as just one overall task rather than a ton of miniature to-dos that still need to be completed before he can rest and relax.
7. There’s an App For That!
When managing multiple to-do lists or tasks in a routine becomes too overwhelming for you (and your child) to manage, remember that you don’t have to go it alone. There are plenty of time management tools and apps you can use to help your child make lists, check off items on a daily agenda, and stay on task.
Some to consider include tools like Trello, Slack, and Asana, all of which can help your child keep track of items on a to-do list in a more organized, digital way.
8. Focus On Just One Thing At a Time – and Become a Master of Your Energy
It is very easy to become overwhelmed by a long list of tasks that need to be done in a routine. However, it’s important to encourage your child to focus on just one task at a time. By focusing on that one task and being able to successfully complete it, it will likely give him the confidence he needs to move forward and to complete the other tasks on the list.
Another technique you can implement to improve your productivity and prioritize what needs to get done is to “eat the frog.” This involves completing the least desirable tasks earliest in the day, before there’s time to put them off.
This will help your child master his energy, too. If he’s most energetic first thing in the morning, it makes sense to do the hardest tasks then.
9. Become a Master of Many Lists
Once you’ve mastered the art of the master to-do list with your child, it’s time to branch out. You should ideally have four to-do lists, although you may need to pare this down for some children.
The master list will include everything that needs to be done at some point or another. It will capture all of your child’s ideas and worries in one place. The monthly list is the next list, which will contain items that all need to be done within the month (such as completing a large project for school).
The weekly to-do list will contain items that need to be done within the week (like finishing a certain section of that project) while the daily to-do list will contain smaller, more actionable items that need to be done today (like coming up with a list of references for that project).
Do these steps sound familiar? If so, that’s because the concept of creating many lists is very similar to the idea of setting SMART Goals.
By breaking things out into multiple lists, it will help your child stay organized and on task – even when he has a lot on his plate.
Take it One Day at a Time
Let’s face it. Knowing how to prioritize is a skill that many adults don’t even have. We all have the same amount of hours in a day, however, so setting goals for yourself and with your child is a great way to make the most of those hours.
Be patient with yourself and with your child as you get used to your new routine. The better adapted you are to a certain routine, the easier it will be to tackle more in your daily schedule. Just give it time!
Further Reading
- Hannah Furfaro: Sleep problems in autism, explained
- Carole G. Bozworth: Challenges and Choices: Time Effectiveness – Prioritizing Your Time
- National University: How to Time Block Like a Boss
- Rebekah Pierce: Using SMART Goals To Improve Financial Literacy In Unique Learners
- Rebekah Pierce: The Benefits Of Setting A Daily Routine: How Schedules Can Help Your Child With Unique Learning Needs